How Depression affects Love

When I was depressed I would have said no, but I would have said no to most things. That’s what depression does to you. When I wasn’t depressed, though, I still would have said no. Because even though I wasn’t currently depressed, I knew it would come back. I’ve had years where I could manage and the depression didn’t take over my life, and I’ve had years where depression was all I saw, felt, knew. “How could someone love me when I’m like this?” I asked myself. I found it so hard to love myself; how could anyone else?

What is depression?

I can only speak for myself on this. But I want to explain because I know some people who have never been depressed don’t truly understand what depression is. They can’t wrap their head around why you don’t want to hang out with them. Why you want to stay in bed all day. Why getting out of bed to take a shower or brush your teeth feels like you’re attempting to climb Mt. Everest twice in quick succession. They just don’t get why you won’t get up and face another day. Why don’t you just pull yourself together? (We’ve tried. Or at least I have every time my depression has a hold on me.)

Oh boy have I tried. Thinking that I can just pull myself together is something so many well-meaning but unhelpful people say. (Because it’s not that easy) When I’m depressed I don’t have the strength for anything. Let…