Sexy salad? Hold the dressing, please.

Something I learned in my first job was that most brands speak in one of two tones: Innocent Smoothies-style twee or buttoned-up corporate.

Meg Roberts
Sep 9, 2018 · 3 min read

Then my ex-colleague Nick pointed out that we’d moved into the Artisan Era.

Bringing the number of off-the-shelf brand voices up to four, I’ve noticed another in the last few months: sort-of smut.

Malmaison have to be the champions at this. Almost everything they write has a sexy sting in the tail. Exhibit A:

And this is — which I think is cleverer, but sits firmly in the same wink-wink-nudge-nudge brand voice:

This is why it’s ‘sort-of’ smut. It’s not out-and-out filth but giggly innuendo — enough for a pre-watershed audience.

And most of the time, it works for Malmaison. Their brand is plush cushions and velvety carpets and low lighting. A slightly saucy way with words is just another string to that particular bow.

But in other industries, sort-of smut catches you off guard

It gives you a queasy feeling, like when someone makes a sexual joke in the office.

Take this American brand of ready meals talking about ‘food you want to fork’. Shudder.

Or every other word from salad chain Tossed. They manically make the same joke again and again and again: in their brand name, in their blurb (‘whatever your parents told you, tossing is good for you!!!’) and on their poor employees’ backs:

Surely this is grounds for a tribunal?

But I’m in two minds: maybe it’s better than business-blah

Adding some personality to your words is surely better than having none at all. And it’s not an epidemic just yet. I haven’t spotted any banks or building societies doing it (don’t you think it’s about time we liquidated those assets?)

But I can’t escape the feeling that this titillating tone of voice is something close to all those companies that jumped on the feminism bandwagon a couple of years ago.

As society becomes more sex-positive, so do brands. And though that might work if you’re the cheating partner’s hotel chain of choice, does it translate to microwave meals and smoked salmon salads?

I’m not so sure. Yes, it’s good to get personality into your words. But don’t be so desperate to find one that you forget your own context.

Meg Roberts

Written by

Creative director | www.schwa.consulting

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