Sometimes I think I’d like to be tortured
But then I remember I’d never been more hurt after you left
And I realize that
Wet cloths and water jugs aren’t for everyone,
Sometimes all you need are hateful eyes and empty love.
I count the days, I counted every day since you said it last,
Days turn into years
A lifetie in prison hence these shackles that leave maks
They’ve rubbed away and sharks could feed from the blood from my arms
But they don’t.
All this time and I’m still as distasteful as ever,
Scared away strangers with thoughts nothing but hatefuland they feel bad,
They feel bad,
They see you and wonder why him?
The boy with the bruises, the girl without limbs
And I know that not everything is meant to be said
But the spaces are filling up inside my head
And the migraines are worsening,
You’d think I would know how to cope with a heartbeat that twitches and groans
Getting louder and louder, can’t hear myself think
Pressure crushes my insides and lower I sink to the bottom
The sharks smell the blood.
I hope that they’re hungry for fire and a flood
I can’t breathe in this water, but neither on land
Pretending that I can’t see your outstretched hand
Though it kills me
My lungs ache
My heart screams
My legs shake
The ground lives
My body is the earthquake
The sharks take your hand,
Family first, deadly thirst
The undertow sways me, my arteries burst
You’re mistaken, I’d rather become this dark sea
Than escape here alone and go home to the old me.