My ex-husband had a lot of debts, and quite a bit of our money (mostly mine) had gone to paying them off.
The Unexpected Costs of Getting Over a Divorce
Amy Rydecki
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There is nothing more upsetting than a loved one who sponges and mooches, taking $ like it’s theirs. I would never just take $ like that, especially not after a couple of years post-break. Only a special brand of self-important a**hole does that.

But I have dated this. At one point my ex had a nicer phone than I, but didn’t see why he needed to stay at a job more than a few months (just long enough to pay off some bills) but not enough to put something away for emergencies or gee, I don’t know, build up to something more like for another place to live or a car. Then he would quit and mooch off his parents and me. And it wasn’t like we were making the kind of money where he could just loaf about all day. It was a struggle, but he did anyway. So when I think back, either he was the kind of a**hole who knew what he was doing and was ok with financially abusing the people around him, or he was an absolute imbecilic who was just absolutely oblivious to the workings of the world. I’m leaning more towards the kind of sniveling, spineless jerk who takes $ from hard working people because he managed to get away with it with promises of getting another job soon.

The selfish, entitled, narcissist he was just couldn’t understand why I would get so frustrated with him (or he did, but really didn’t care because he’d been taken care of his whole life, by mommy and daddy). I grew up poor, I’d worked since I was a teenager, and even when I went to college I worked full time. And there have been times I’ve worked 2 jobs. But he lacked any kind of urgency to action or understanding of what poor felt like. Thankfully, we didn’t share bank accounts.

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