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What I wish for: Civil Disagreement (Is it too much to hope?)

“Jane, you ignorant slut,” (thank you SNL — source citing! — oops, snark) is a far cry from, “Jane, your opinion is uninformed and here’s why,” or “Jane, I do not like your behavior, and here’s why.”

I am grateful that, so far, no one has attacked me as a person, but only disagreed with my opinions. Cool. Disagree. In these disagreements, I have often found that what we had was a “failure to communicate” (thank you Cool Hand Luke — So proud. I did it again.). This makes me reflect on how I could be a better writer, to communicate more precisely and avoid misunderstandings. Sometimes we just disagree.

I do not condone personal attacks or back stabbing insinuations. I can tell you that, if I am attacked on a personal level, my brain goes into full on warrior mode. Any opportunity for reasoned discourse, let alone changing my opinion or behavior, goes right out the window. This will not happen if you attack my opinions.

If I see someone making personal attacks on someone else, my instinct is to defend the person attacked. From what I can see, the incident that started this thread arose from that instinct.

I have to wonder why people sink to the level of disparaging others. What do they hope to gain? Can they possibly hope to convince the attacked person that they are wrong? Do they simply want to crush someone they disagree with? Do they they think their actions will elevate them in the eyes of others? Do they do it to feel better about themselves? Are they simply emotionally unaware? I don’t have the answer. I do know that, in this format, they are writing and so have all the time in the world to craft their best salvo.

I wanted to take some time out from my day to say thank you to jaden violet for being a fierce defender of others, to Jewels for your sanity and maturity, and to Cyborg (sorry, can’t seem to tag you) for keeping it real and transparent.

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