One small snip for man, one giant decision for Momkind.

Two lesbian moms, one impending baby boy, and one major decision - to circumcise or not to circumcise.

I’m fully aware that this post will be mortifying to our son. Dear, Honey, Sweet Boy, You, Hey (just testing out a few nicknames I’ve been kicking around), I’m afraid this will be one of many things I do to “ruin your life”. I’ve already been identified by my close friends as infected with “Dad humor”. It’s alright we’ll get through this together as a family.

Before I continue I want you to know we are taking this decision very seriously, but I use humor as a coping device when I’m stressed. I’m sure, like your other mother, you will find this extremely annoying.

Let’s go over the basics:

A…Just to get it out of the way, with our limited experience dealing with the male anatomy the irony does not escape me that the stork is bringing us a baby boy. I’ve received a few comments from straight people who think it’s hysterical. These are also the same people who can’t believe my wife “plays for the other team” because she’s hot <that should read HOT>. Gay people are HOT and women raise MEN - it happens all the time. Moving on…

B…We have no religious affiliations, we pray to no one except cheese. So as long as you are not lactose intolerant you will be accepted with or without foreskin in our home.

C…From what I’ve read there are a few medical reasons in favor of circumcision but they don’t seem overwhelming. There are greater medical reasons not to drink or smoke and you will likely at least try one or both.

D…I watched a circumcision training video on YouTube. It was on a plastic penis and I still cried while watching it.

E…If I had a daughter and someone wanted to cut her genitalia I’d absolutely say no. And then I’d shank them in the thigh, grab her and run.

F…We’ve polled friends. Snapshot results below. Please note this is a USA skewed, completely informal, and random poll. You should take more stock in the ground hog seeing it’s shadow, but…

Straight Females: MOSTLY FOR. Of the straight women I talked to most seemed for or had had their son circumcised. Alot said they left the decision to their male partner. Some when I asked about their preference with partners said they preferred circumcision for appearance. I can’t help but think this somehow sways the decision.

Gay Males: SPLIT. Some FOR due to increased pleasure and some AGAINST for appearance.

Straight Males: SPLIT. Some FOR due to religious reasons, wanting their son to look like them and appearance. Some AGAINST due to again wanting their son to look like them or just thinking it’s unnecessary procedure.

Lesbians: MOSTLY AGAINST. We are a natural people. We clean things with lemon juice and water. We also have the lowest value opinion in this poll. My son has a better chance at riding a unicorn to work everyday than falling madly in love with a lesbian and having a long term relationship with her.

And although we’ve taken in all the opinions, not one of them is sealing ours because it’s a really personal decision. So its nice to hear people’s opinions but sadly it can’t form your opinion.

G…Every porn (just to clarify I’ve watched a <ahem> modest amount of porn) I’ve ever seen has only had circumcised penis’. Not in anyway do I think porn reflects real life (Can you imagine?!), but I do worry that it reveals something about the desires or state of acceptance of where we’re at. What will glimpses in the locker room or his first and definitely awful hand job bring? Questions, jokes or maybe nothing. Leaving me to wonder what is the norm? And what will the norm be?

H…There are some arguments that foreskin is more pleasurable. I want him to have a satisfying, healthy sex life. When I say that most people say “gross” but I want him to have a good body image, great sex with partner(s) he respects and all the other bits that make life just a bit more shiny.

I... Should we forgo circumcision and he decides to be circumcised at some later point in life, yes, it will be his decision for his body. But, it’s going to be incredibly painful and potentially the years leading to that decision will be as well. I don’t think you just decide to get circumcised just because. There will likely have to be some gut wrenching moments that lead up to that.

I guess that’s it. I guess that’s the basics I shift back and forth in my head. I guess in the end I just want to make the right decision for him. I guess I wish this was something more people talked about. I guess this is just the start of many decisions, many difficult decisions with no right answers. Oh good lord what have we done.

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