Abyss and the curve.
There is this strange kind of calm in my heart and mind right now. I feel like I’m sitting on a surf board with my feet in the cold water way into the sea bouncing to the swells of the sea. Something you must do once in your life sparks. And I don’t know how to surf much but I lie on the board and swim into the sea past the waves and just sit on it. Beautiful feeling of weightlessness. Drifting with the sound of the waves behind me by the shore and looking at the expanse of the sea in front of me, way until the sun touches the floor of the ocean. You know that there are creatures alive under you and an abyss beneath it. When you pass a crater that’s deep you know because you can suddenly feel the water getting colder and you know your on top of a hole deep enough to swallow a hundred of you. From where there is no coming back. I don’t know if its the adrenalin but the feeling of pushing the limits a little. A beautiful fear inside you like when you stand in the end of the railing of a tall building. All you need to do is step over. Abyss! Deep, dark, lonely and cold….. BUT safe ….because no one will find you there. No one might even look. Flip over and just let go. Accept. Sink to rise again in another time perhaps.
But then……that was not the only point.
The point is that we sometimes spend too much time wondering where we are going without paying heed about where we came from. What we have left behind and the curves we have passed along the way through this road trip. And what those curves thought of us while we slid along in a hurry. Did they even notice? And while we pass them, we forget sometimes in our hurry of the future to salute the present. We want, We need, We yearn….more than We believe, We respect, We stop to say ‘hey…i see you and your nice’.
I stopped. I stop. I stop.
I don’t want to pass this curve in a hurry. I did initially but Iv taken a U-turn and come back here because the view is great here. This curve speaks to me I think. And I’m wondering….. maybe this is a better place than where I’m headed in the first place. But wait…where am I headed anyway? Forget it. I’ll stay a while. Hell, maybe I’ll stay forever. I like it here. Maybe no one will find me here as well and its as cold as the abyss. Lesser fear. But I care what this curve thinks and remembers of me. I yearn this curve knows me a little. I yearn this curve misses me should I leave.
Stay a while. Breathe and let breathe. Be grateful.
For this journey
Be grateful for the sweet of fresh water against the salt of the sea. Sip slowly. Feel the cold beneath your feet and the warmth above. Lift your hands and let the breeze embrace you. For life’s not what you get in the end of it but what you’ve picked up on the way.