“My mission, should I choose to accept it, is to find peace with exactly who and what I am. To take pride in my thoughts, my appearance, my talents, my flaws and to stop this incessant worrying that I can’t be loved as I am.” — Anais Nin
As I move through life, I become more and more accepting of the person I actually am instead of focusing on the person I thought I wanted to be.
We all have the physical characteristics and personality traits we wish we could change. My list has caused me great angst and how it impacts me fluctuates greatly. I can swing from feeling capable of being my own champion to desperately wishing I could be more direct, more articulate, less sensitive or less emotional but you can only try to change so much before you lose sight of who you are. Chasing the qualities you want but don’t have is exhausting. Your strength is in the recognition of your weaknesses and your ability to handle them.
I am very ambitious but lack the follow through required to have my ideas materialize how I envision them. The plans, topic lists and goals become muddled in daily life and I can go months without making progress. This trait is amplified because failure to be productive causes me anxiety. It was a difficult realization but admitting these faults allows me to work toward a solution rather become paralyzed to progress.
After a long period of feeling lost in recent years, I made self reflection a priority. I know there are countless unfinished projects that will never be seen by others but not everything has to be seen. Progress can be the satisfaction in the process too.
GOALS FOR MY 28TH YEAR
At some point in your life, you must decide what is worthy of your time and what is not. Priorities are critical. Time should be valued for what it is, the most important thing we have in our lives. I let go of toxic relationships and will continue to invest in those who invest in me.
To ignore facts is to ignore reality. I will oppose the existence of a world rooted in speculation and baseless opinions. I will seek views that differ from my own. I will encourage those with opposing views to challenge my position while I challenge theirs. Open mindedness is not a sign of weakness but of strength. Intelligence should always be respected, not feared.
I will admit when I am wrong but place boundaries on apologies.
Love trumps hate. I will continue to use my platforms to promote acceptance and diffuse the stereotypes that have crept into our minds and been there for far too long. I will be aware of the judgments I have made in the past and strive to recognize their presence in the future. I will not forget that I was born into a position of privilege millions will never experience. Each day, I will do my best to improve the world no matter how small of a contribution I can make. I will continue to pay attention to the suffering of others.
I will continue to work toward fully embracing the characteristics that make me who I am: a woman who prefers cheap beer and cold coffee, a crier who has a weakness for both books and pop music. I have made the pledge to myself to remain curious and be informed. Most importantly, I will focus on recognizing my limitations and accept them as a part of who I am.