Hate?

Do you sometimes just hate few people. Like the hate is so powerful that you can’t think of anything else. You know your opinions are biased and you can’t even just handle someone calling their name out. You hate that name, you hate that person. You hate what you feel about yourself because of that person. You feel terrible that you ever felt sorry for them, because all they did was judged you and thought how they were better than you. Compared themselves with you and kept thinking how they were better. How they were more deserving.

When I was a kid, Everyone kept saying how I didn’t deserve whatever I got. They told me, they kept saying that to me so they can make themselves feel good about themselves. I believed them, I was dumb. I believed everything they said, and kept thinking how they deserved what I got. Result: They kept feeling better about themselves and I was dragged in a pit where I always though I was never good enough for anything.

That’s why I hate certain kind of people you know? The ones who are happy and nice and freindly...Too friendly actually. The kind of people who everyone likes. The kind who would put you down, but no one else will see that. No one else will ever believe that this nice, sweet, person is capable of destroying. You won’t ever be able to tell anyone why even the thought of such people disgusts you. You will try.. but you can’t.

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