Here are the love languages of the world’s foremost tyrannical leaders.

George Bush — Gift-giving.

If the gift was ISIS.

We’ve known many before him that wanted to invade Iraq under false pretenses…but Bush proved that it’s not just the racist thought that counts, it’s the follow-through, it’s the execution…of innocent civilians.

Ah ISIS. The gift that keeps on giving!

Donald Trump — Words of Affirmation.

As long as they affirm him and no one else.

The simplest tweet praising the Don can make him smile and even secure you a spot in the cabinet of the most powerful nation in the world (this tactic is was once attempted by Tiger Woods.)

But on the other hand, the smallest insult? Oof, don’t go there. You do not wanna face the wrath of a Gemini (Yes Donald Trump is a Gemini. Only a Gemini would get impeached and then immediately try to start a world war.)

Another despot who speaks the same language? Mohammad bin Salman. Words mean so much to him that he will even have you followed by assassins and hacked into…