“I Want You”

Yeah I know it’s
“not who you spend Sat night with but who you spend all day Sun with”
or something like that
but I want you on both.

I want you on dreary Mondays
when there’s nothing to watch on TV,
in the middle of the day on Tuesdays
when I’ve had a shitty day at work,
and at midnight on a Wednesday,
with your weight shifting besides me in my sleep.

I want you on Thursday evenings
when you get home late and you’re not in a great mood,
and we heat up a frozen meal
and watch it spin in the microwave like a carousel,
talking about the news,
laughing at things we’ll forget tomorrow.

And I want you on Fridays
when we put on our best masks to go glisten for others,
before resigning into our sweaters.

I want you on winter nights,
reading together in silence,
and on summer afternoons
when we fall asleep in the sickly heat,
the taste of sugar and lemonade on our lips.

I want you on fall mornings
when you leave extra coffee for me in the pot,
and on spring evenings when the air is crisp with possibility
and we sit on park benches till the fireflies come out.

I want you when I feel young
and I put on old tunes
to dance with you in a loose skirt,
red lipstick, and a bright grin,
and we’re spinning and spinning,
and the only universe is the space between us.

and I want you when I feel old,
tired for tomorrow,
and sinking with the weight of my bones,
forlorn with the dreams it’s too late to achieve.

I want you when I don’t want you,
when I’m angry and you’re stubborn,
and we say all the wrong things to each other. 
When you’re whistling that same song again,
you know — the one I hate,
and you remind me to wash the sheets again.
(I’ll fucking wash them in a second, Jesus Christ.)

I especially want you when I want you,
right in the moment,
with your grin askew and my hair let loose,
when you look sharp,
and I’m feeling ravenous,
and you’re biting my lip,
and we’re just a pile of heat and heart,
eyes closed, fingers knotted together.

I want you when it’s simple,
when words are spilling out of us,
and every smile feels too easy, 
and we’re agreeing over that one weird, single thing 
we thought no one else in the world would feel.

I want you when it’s hard,
when you’re snotty and bed-ridden,
and when we’re losing hair and making doctor appointments, 
and when we’re working jobs we both don’t like,
and it becomes a chore to fit into each others’ lives.

I want you when I’m
tired or piss drunk at 4 am,
when I’m angry or bored,
laughing or crying,
whether it’s
because of you,
or because of the world.

I want every stupid, wonderful, mundane moment
and I want them all with you.

Pic credit: Karensfineart

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