Erlebnisse

The German have a word, “erlebnisse”, which means “the experiences, positive or negative, that we feel most deeply, and through which we truly live.”

A few summers ago, at an interactive acting workshop, I took part in a community building day. While the class started with simpler exercises like trust falls, the day quickly took a profound turn.

Soon, we began a more intimate exercise. All of the attendees were paired off with a person they did not know. We were to take off the paraphernalia that hid our face (i.e. glasses and hats) and were to sit quietly with our eyes closed while our partner watched us. They were to take in all of our curves and edges and look at us with love. It was such a personal moment, being so aware that a person was watching me. I couldn’t hide behind my large-framed glasses or cover my face with my hair — I was on display.

After a while, we switched roles with our partner. As I looked at this lovely young man who I had been partnered with, I felt so privileged. I got see his original tension and how he slowly relaxed as he became more comfortable. I got to see the way he smiled when he let go of his wariness. I got to see him. All around the room, we looked at our partners with palpable love and appreciation.

We were then encouraged to learn each others’ names and share a secret with our partner, if we felt comfortable. Both my partner and I shared, and I just felt so incredibly lucky for we had created a safe space.

Since that eventful day, I have kept in touch with this person. We both return to this workshop every year and maintain a similar group of friends there. This day was so long ago that I doubt he even remembers that we did this trust exercise together. The only reason I remember is because of the intensity and strength of love I felt in that moment. It was an “erlebnis.”