The Beauty in Pain: A Playlist

You are not alone, I’ve been here the whole time singing you a song

(Carry You by Ruelle and Fleurie)

I have a strange attraction to sad, intense music. It draws me in. All my life, I have wanted to help people in pain. It’s probably because I spend so much time people-watching and observing the way people act that I can pick out those in pain. I understand how it feels and I want people to know they aren’t alone. Often times in the comments on the YouTube comments for the music and lyric videos for all of these songs, listeners will comment their own life stories and how the powerful music has helped them through their hard times. There are stories of loss, death, pain, trial, and stress. Just reading these testimonies helps me get a better idea of how many people live their lives.

Until it disappeared, From me, From you

(To Build a Home by Cinematic Orchestra)

For me, although I am a very happy person, I love to seek an escape from the craziness of my life. After I finished a long school day filled with stress, I just need to leave reality for a few minutes. I turn off all of my lights, turn the music up loud, and drown out everything around me. The intoxicating melodies make you miss people you’ve never known and feel emotions you never knew were possible. I can spend so much time in the quiet hours of the night all alone with my music. Music is very personal to me. I feel like it says a lot about a person’s personality and the way they act towards others. It is kind of like a little secret. I don’t usually like to share them with people, especially when I find hidden gems like these. I feel like most people I know wouldn’t understand the reasons why they are important to me and wouldn’t be able to appreciate them the way I do. These compelling songs are not usually by well known pop artists and you will never hear them on the radio. They are very special to me and impactful on my life.

Please don’t slip away, ‘Cause my heart can’t take it, Don’t let this be the end

(Slip Away by Ruelle)

AlI wanted to do was help people in some sort of way. I love giving advice to my friends and helping them with their problems whether it be big or small. This music reminds me that there are always people out there suffering. These songs, to me, all tell one very similar story. They start out peaceful, but gradually get more intense and emotional. There’s one big sudden crash jumping to the most burning yet magnificent section of the music. It finally slows down and ends on a powerful lyric that epitomizes the entire song.

I’m not ready to die, not yet, Pull me out of the train wreck

(Train Wreck by James Arthur)

They start slow and instrumental. The melodies flow along in a peaceful manner. They emphasize the peace and quiet before the storm. It’s the way you might feel right before your life goes to crap: the unknowing vulnerability. All is well in the world and everything is still.

I can’t help but love you, Even though I try not to

(War of Hearts by Ruelle (acoustic))

Then, the powerful lyrics pierce the music with a beautiful intensity. These songs are all about the beauty in pain. They let you know that it’s perfectly human to be sad and broken sometimes. They show you the path to safety and lead you to all the people who care about you. At this point in the musical journey, you start to feel emotion.

Does she know that we bleed the same, Don’t wanna cry but I break that way

(Where’s My Love by SYML)

The bridge is soft and almost angelic. I feel like it is bracing you for the impassioned version of the chorus awaiting you. It is a brief pause to let you catch your breath before the real part begins.

Isn’t it lovely, all alone, Heart made of glass, my mind of stone, Tear me to pieces, skin and bone, Hello, welcome home

(Lovely by Billie Eilish and Khalid)

The turning point in the music usually picks up about two or three minutes in. It is the real life battle cry. It reveals all that everyone is doing to save you from the darkness, whatever that might be. There are harsher beats and there is a blast of fervency. This is where things get real. The poetic verses remind you of those out there, continually risking their lives for the people they love. It is the part in the song that you might hear in the background of the dramatic death of your favorite television or movie character. It allows you to feel the intensity of the artist’s feelings. It makes you cry and mourn for people you’ve never met and just melt right into the darkness.

I don’t wanna know the other side, Of a world without you

(The Other Side by Ruelle)

The song generally ends quietly, with one heavily impacting theme. They always end with some sort of hopeful or comforting note. They let the hurting know that they are wanted and there is always a way to escape your pain. Everything will be fine in the end. There will always be someone to help, and it is okay to cry and feel pain.

I know it hurts, it’s hard to breathe sometimes

(Carry You by Ruelle and Fleurie)

And now, it’s time to leave and turn to dust

(To Build a Home by Cinematic Orchestra)

Don’t let this be the end

(Slip Away by Ruelle)

Unchain the reactions, I’m not ready to die, not yet

(Train Wreck by James Arthur)

‘Cause I’m overcome in the war of hearts

(War of Hearts (acoustic) by Ruelle)

If you ran away, come back home, just come home

(Where’s my Love by SYML)

Hello, welcome home

(Lovely by Billie Eilish and Khalid)

Can’t live without you

(The Other Side by Ruelle)

My music is my safe house and my refuge. It allows me to escape from the craziness of college planning, SAT prep, the hours of homework, and keeping up with my health simultaneously. It allows me to feel vulnerable without having to reveal my whole whole life and insecurities to people. I just get to sing out the intoxicating melodies all by myself in the darkness of my bedroom in the middle of the night and there is nobody there to stop me. I finally get to see the beauty in pain.