The Least Fun, Most Important Thing I Do Every Week
It totally sucks.
Therapy. There it is, I spoiled it already.
I go to therapy once a week, every week, in the middle of my Wednesday afternoon.
Now, I’m going to tell you why it both sucks and is so absolutely, f*cking necessary.
1. It’s expensive. As hell.
Therapy is extremely expensive especially if you want a quality, desired therapist. As a single, 24-year-old woman living in one of the most expensive cities in America, I can barely afford it.
But if you want something high quality, you have to pay for it. Similar to when you go to get a tattoo — do you want to go to the cheapest place? Hell, no. You never want to pay less than $100 for a tattoo and even that is low.
Plus, this is my mind I’m talking about. The most precious thing I own. I want to take care of it in the best way I possibly can no matter what. So yes, therapy is expensive.
Good, it should be.
2. It’s in the middle of the damn day.
My therapist is only available on Wednesdays at 1:30pm. Smack dab in the middle of the workday which not only means that I have to go into work really early on Wednesdays, but I have to explain to my coworkers why I leave early once a week. Every week.
I guess I don’t have to, but I do. Whenever someone asks where I’m going, I say therapy. I used to say that I was headed to a ‘doctor’s appointment’ but I realized that this was my way of being embarrassed about going to therapy. I was lying about it and therefore reinforcing my brain that it’s something to be ashamed of.
So I stopped lying and just told the truth. And let me tell you, it’s been so good for me.
Part of the reason I go to therapy is because of the environment I grew up in. I grew up in a ridiculously traditional, close-minded community that didn’t believe in ridiculous shenanigans like therapy. So having to tell people every week, “yes, I’m going to therapy” is a great way for me to squash that part of my brain that still feels ashamed. Ashamed that I’m not perfect.
Ashamed that I need some help sometimes.
3. It’s every single week.
It’s a lot. I have a lot going on in my life. I have a full-time job, part- time job, a dog, a relationship, friends, a life and I spend about 3 hours total (including the drive) out of my Wednesday to see a therapist.
It’s the opposite of convenient.
And that’s important. Every time I have to leave in the middle of a busy workday, knowing I need to make up all that crap later in the day, and rush off to therapy it reminds me how important this process is.
The added responsibility of going to therapy every single week reinforces to myself how much of a priority this needs to be.
4. I have to GO to therapy.
Let me be clear — I go to an office where I see a human with a professional degree to tell them about my feelings. Good feelings, bad feelings, anxieties, anything that’s going on in my brain I tell her.
The hour that I’m in there is extremely draining. As an introvert, it’s a lot of social energy for me to sit and express myself for an hour straight.
It is a lot. It takes it out of me.
Again, it sucks. Seriously, sometimes it blows. And you’re probably thinking, ‘then why the f*ck do you go?!”
But you wouldn’t be saying that if I had a back injury and went to physical therapy once a week. You wouldn’t be saying, ‘then stop going!’
Because people don't’ think of anxiety the same as a physical problem. There is still a crazy taboo around therapy — spending money, spending time, and going consistently.
And that’s why I spend the money, spend the time, and go consistently. But it’s that damn important.