All the possible reasons I’m feeling my anxiety today.
I wake up before my alarm.
I sleep through my alarm.
I wake up and remember all the things I need to do today.
I wake up and remember I need to shower.
I wake up and remember something I forgot to plan for last night.
I procrastinate getting out of bed by checking my phone and lose track of time.
While in the shower, I can’t stop thinking about all the things I need to do today.
I can’t remember if I put shampoo in my hair.
I don’t know what to wear.
I don’t feel like putting on makeup.
I don’t have enough time to put on makeup.
I don’t feel like doing my hair.
I hate how my hair turned out but I don’t have time to do anything else.
I’m running late.
I forget to put on deodorant.
I don’t have time to eat breakfast.
I forget my lunch in the fridge.
I don’t have time to make lunch.
I run for the train but just miss the doors closing.
The train is running slow.
The train is stopped due to train traffic or an issue that is going to make me late.
I ask myself for the millionith time why I’m not a morning person.
I ask myself for the millionith time why I’m not better at giving myself enough time for anything.
The train is crowded and I have to stand surrounded by strangers.
It’s hot and I’m sweating.
It’s cold and I’m underdressed.
It’s gloomy outside.
I keep catching someone staring at me on the train.
I’m stuck walking behind slow moving tourists.
I get to work and immediately have work to do.
I’m too busy to get coffee.
I drink too much coffee.
I’m too busy to get lunch until I’m starving.
I eat too much for lunch.
I spend too much money on lunch.
I have to talk to someone on the phone.
I have to write a difficult email.
I have to do something I’ve been procrastinating doing for as long as possible.
I remember something I forgot to do.
I see a text hours later that I didn’t respond to.
I have to deal with feeling judged, all the time, in every capacity, at all moments of the day.
I have too much work to do.
I feel like I don’t have *enough* work to do.
I feel paranoid that I don’t feel anxious (yes, not having anxiety trips my anxiety as it’s like a weird, unhealthy security blanket)
I have to have an uncomfortable conversation with my boss or an employee.
I have to ask an employee to do something I know they don’t want to do.
I have to criticize an employee’s work.
I have to pick up the slack of an employee.
I have to do a task I feel is not important or my job because someone asked me to.
I meet someone I’ve never met for a coffee or lunch meeting.
I have to interview someone.
I feel overwhelmed by work.
I don’t feel busy or productive enough.
The day goes by so fast I don’t have any time to think about my personal life, it’s just 10 hours of thinking about my job.
I want to get groceries and make dinner but I’m too tired.
I want to work out but I’m too tired.
I plan to go to a workout class but I’m running really late.
I take an inventory of the groceries I do have and am upset at myself for letting produce or leftovers go bad.
I want to be more social and hang out with friends but it sounds exhausting.
My friends hang out with each other and I feel FOMO, like I should be more social.
I think about all the friends I haven’t seen, that I could be closer with.
I wonder if my friendships are as strong as they could be, if I’m a good enough friend.
I think about dating.
I miss my ex-boyfriend and wonder how his life is.
I open an online dating app only to remember how fucking awful it is.
I wonder how long I’ll be single for.
I get into a fight with my mom that could have been avoided if I just didn’t give her the ammo.
I feel like I’ve been looking at technology for too long.
I feel like I’m behind on the news.
I feel like I’m drowning on the endless scroll of information that is social media.
I look at my credit card debt.
I look at my student loan debt.
I lose track of time on the internet and stay up past my bedtime.
I watch Netflix past my bedtime.
I look at my work email when I’m not in the office.
I think about my job during non-business hours.
I replay a past bad memory, conversation or interaction in my head over and over again.
I switch back and forth between Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat and Vine on an endless binge of social media content, feeling like I’ll never, ever catch up.
I feel jealous of all the amazing things everyone else seems to be doing.
I compare my life to friends, colleagues and social media personalities.
I feel like I don’t have enough time in the day to do everything I want to do.
I feel too awake to go to sleep at a normal time.
I feel like I should shower but I don’t feel like getting wet.
I’m too tired to turn off my TV or bedroom light, take off my makeup, or brush my teeth.
I wake up in a haze remembering I didn’t take off my pants or brush my teeth, I force myself to do those things before passing out again.
I forget to set an alarm.
I set an alarm and realize I’m going to get less than eight hours of sleep if I actually wake up to my alarm.
I feel my anxiety and can’t pinpoint the reason why I’m feeling it. The struggling to pinpoint it makes me feel more anxious.
I feel my anxiety at all times, in different ways, all day long.
I felt the need to write this blog post.