Compliments, Whistling and Other Outlandish Behavior

Meg Tanner
Jul 24, 2017 · 3 min read

I visit my local grocery story at least once a day. I have managed to create what feels like a mini family-community there. Like any good family, the staff knows and tolerates my quirks. They know that I typically eat a Luna bar while I shop and on special days savor a pack of organic peanut butter cups. They know that I have interesting conversations with cashiers and shoppers at the checkout line. They know I refuse to use the self-checkout because it’s “against my religion.” They know I lose my keys and debit card on a regular.

On my first trip to day I was there to shop for greeting cards. As I stood in the checkout line, I heard a someone loudly whistling and turned to see an adorable girl and a mother saying, “stop that.” The two girls who looked to both be under six and their mom ended up behind me. I asked the young lady if that was her whistling and she proudly answered in the affirmative and began to whistle again. I was totally impressed. It seems I often unintentionally encourage bad behavior in kids. I bit my lip to keep from telling her that my grandmom and mom used to tell me that whistling was bad luck for sailors and not appropriate for girls. I never knew what that meant, but I complied. As I waited my turn, I listened to these young ladies ask their mom if she could put some prizes inside the strawberry shortcakes they were making for a birthday cake. Everyone in line had huge smiles on their faces because of how bubbly, excited, and adorable they were. The young lady told me that she loved my purse and that it was beautiful. I told her how much I loved the fact that she gives compliments and that is something I love to do. She quickly replied, “my mom doesn’t like me to do that.” I laughed and said, “well, you need to listen to your mom, and yeah sometimes people think you are weird when you do that.” She says at the top of her lungs, “you aren’t weird; you are beautiful.” She then told the cashier that she loved her hair. The mom seemed incredibly quiet and uncomfortable and yet she was raising two extroverted, charismatic little girls.

I began thinking on the way home about the messages we receive from others about being careful, playing it safe, and being appropriate. I have someone close to me who feels strongly about his daughter not being fearful of the world, so he lets her roam free. He has been confronted on multiple occasions by people who took issue with this. Even after he told them that he had his eye on his baby girl, they continued to talk about all the dangers of this behavior and even threatened to call authorities. Last week I reluctantly took my overanxious pup into Pet Smart for a short shopping trip. He was on his best behavior and I was feeling like a proud mom. At checkout a new woman was ringing us up (I have created a little community there as well). Charlie wandered a bit towards the entrance, and she barked, “you need to keep your eye on your dog.” Hmmm. I had my eye on him and he was on a leash and there was no one anywhere near the door coming in or out. It really bothered me, and I told her as such and based on the fact that she stared at my bag and refused to engage in conversation, I concluded she didn’t understand….both my dog and I were apparently being inappropriate.

I get it….we need to be safe, honor people’s boundaries, strike a balance with our friendliness, and keep some semblance of appropriateness, but how often do we allow fear of danger and what people think take the joy and serendipity out of life. I have made the decision to live on the wild side a bit more…..give compliments whenever I notice something, strike up conversations with strangers, and take other intentional risks. And on a really crazy day, I even whistle.

Meg Tanner

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Lessons Learned Outside the Classroom from Students, Strangers, Relationships, my Dog, and My Day

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