How the Blue Belt Transformed My BJJ Odyssey

A Tale of Growth and Grit

My journey in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu started around 2020. After watching UFC for years now and seeing Armbars, Triangles and Grappling exchanges, which fascinated me the most, I wanted to step on the mats and try this so-called gentle art on my own.

Straight from the beginning, I had a welcoming beginning — be aware, Brazilian Jiu Jitsu is a super open-minded community. But I didn’t take BJJ seriously enough; it was my “cardio” besides my strength and conditioning. I used to go the dojo one to two times per week. Also, at that time, we were at the beginning of Corona Virus spreading through Germany, and there were some very strict rules that didn’t allow us to do contact sports at all.

One of my first “rolls” was with my friend Marcello. He was back then, was into this sport already around 2 years. And I was foolish enough back then to think I could show this guy my power and my skills and “win” or even tap him.
None of this actually happened. I got humbled. I tapped and got more furious. He just folded me like a T-shirt, effortless, in 5 minutes.
After the roll, he just said, “Stay consistent,” and we bump fists. I guess after that I stopped for a while, being humbled and lost on my journey.

My ego was broken, and not knowing that this would happen again and again, I just stepped on the mats.
I do not know why, but somehow it was not the race to becoming better in Brazilian Jiu Jitsu, in my mind, I wanted to be a Blue belt as quickly as possible. I thought reaching the blue belt in BJJ will give a huge change in my abilities or skills.

Disclaimer: None of this will happen.

I registered for a local competition, to achieve my blue belt after that competition. I lost all my matches. New guys coming to the dojo, submitted me. I rolled hard rounds. I started to come often to dojo, may be 4 to 5 times each week. I overloaded my body and knees with fatigue. And torn my MCL.
After surgery, I was back on the mats quickly. But always in a rush, not to learn, not to enjoy the progress, but to achieve the blue belt.

Other friends got promoted, guys starting later than me were promoted, but I was on the sideline, clapping and waiting for my turn.

Maybe because I was not working hard enough? Maybe I wasn’t as often in the gym as the others? Maybe I wasn’t good enough yet?

I would always question myself.

I was always too fixated on the result, as in every aspect of my life, instead of the journey and the process itself.

After my MCL injury, I recognized changes in my Jiu Jitsu, but the most in my mindset. I started to enjoy my own journey. I wasn’t looking for the blue belt itself; I was looking for growth and skill development.

I decided to compete again in a local tournament in March 2024, one of my last as a white belt in Jiu Jitsu. But actually, my coach had other plans for me.

On the 8 of February 2024, I received my blue belt.

And I would describe it that way:

“It is as if such a great burden has been lifted from my Jiujitsu shoulders.
Neither my ability nor my athleticism has changed.

But one thing has definitely changed, my mindset. It’s so relieving not to have to ask myself questions about it or worry about when, how and why not yet?

The blue belt is there now.
It now gives me peace of mind and tranquility.
I can’t or simply don’t have to prove anything anymore, except to myself.”