Concealing or Conforming: Pretentious Pursuits
During a wine tasting event, Mr. X, an ostentatious wine enthusiast was eloquently describing the nuances of each wine. However, when someone asked about a popular but affordable brand, he scoffed, “Oh did you enjoy that? Well, I suppose it’s passable for beginners, but a true enthusiast like me only indulges in the finest, rarest vintages.” Here, Mr. X is exhibiting a pretentious behaviour by belittling the preference and choice of another individual while presenting himself as more knowledgeable or refined in this particular interest.
Can such pretentious behaviour, as exhibited by Mr. X , be driven by insecurities about one’s own knowledge or expertise in a particular field? Is pretentiousness a coping mechanism for such underlying insecurities? If so, how does this manifest in different aspects of life?
Why do individuals sometimes choose to present themselves as someone they are not in certain social settings? How does the need for social acceptance influence people’s willingness to act pretentious? The myriad of questions may seem to be endless, yet they all converge on this one interesting insight about how individuals frequently mask their inner secrets and strive to 'gel in’ by concealing their true selves behind a ‘pretentious facade’.
Pretentious behaviour is like a costume party, where people wear different masks for various reasons. Insecurity, social status, peer pressure, aspiration, attention-seeking are some reasons why people might engage in pretentious behaviour. From trying to fit into the cool kids’ club to wanting to impress everyone in town, just for the glorious encore of ‘social acceptance’.
It may seem all ‘fun and games’, but after a certain while it may lead to deception, insincerity and strained relationships. The origins of this trend, causing authenticity, honesty and humility to fade into the background, are somewhat elusive.
Not everyone is pretentious, but many are trying to be. If an individual really wants to 'gel in’, setting up a foundation based on self-admiration, fear of being socially excluded is not ideal. The need for social acceptance can influence an individual’s willingness to act pretentious by motivating them to conform to certain social norms, even if it means pretending to possess qualities they don’t have.
A piece of advice: prioritize being true, first to yourself and second to the people around you, because trying to fit into a mold that does not reflect your true self can be emotionally draining and unsatisfying in the long run. Nothing but your uniqueness determines your true value.
