I like that you went through multiple iterations until you perfected how to make your cookie. It was fun reading about all the different things you tried.

I wish you had not mentioned they were too sweet. When I tasted your cookie, that was the first thing that came to mind, but maybe I would not have thought that if you did not say it. Remember, you’re the salesman for your idea.

What if you distributed your pictures more evenly. There were sections with large portions of text and others with multiple pictures in a row. The places that were more distributed kept me more engaged.