Venus in Cancer
The most tender of the Venuses signs
It’s no secret that I adore a Venus in cancer
Entirely subjective, I know. But I’ve never met one that I disliked (even as friends), and at this point I can consistently pick up on the energy within 1 or 2 conversations, or in an actor’s chart during a movie (more on this below.)
Venus in cancer is “softness”
They may not always seem it — or admit it — but they are.
It is gentle, tender.
It is, above all, cuddling and touches — a head leaned against a shoulder or chest, two fingertips tracing slowly on the back on someone’s hand, legs draped over each other, the way spooning feels just right.
It’s sentimental objects — anything with ascribed meaning… old photographs, band t-shirts from “the best show ever” 10 years ago, your first car. It’s pretending you don’t care when you really do; it’s keeping that stupid stuffed animal that one girl you dated for two months once got you.
It’s nostalgia. It’s rejoicing more in remembering the moment than, sometimes, actually living it. It’s reminiscing about your hometown, your college bars, the best thing your mom made growing up. It’s reliving funny stories of friends from a few years back, it’s talking about “how it used to be,” it’s How I Met Your Mother.
It’s the concept of “home” — creating it, and feeling it. It’s wanting a “clan” (partner, family, friends), and it’s wanting them to feel included and cared for.
It’s sweetness — pale pink blossoms, the soft pad bottoms of kittens feet, the feeling of your mom’s oversized, cream-colored cashmere sweater. It’s cream itself, milk, the delicate little white pitcher you keep in the cabinet just for Sunday morning coffee. It’s homemade waffles shaped liked hearts.
It’s mushy, gushy, and, yes, cancer Venus can be clingy.
It’s guarded. It’s retreating; it’s behind a protective shell. It’s coming out only when it feels safe — and once it does, it’s loving simply, but fully.
Venus in cancer cares
Even if they don’t act like it (they have a soft, mushy inside to protect with that little crab shell, after all), and even if they have a lighthearted sun like gemini or serious moon like capricorn… they still care.
There’s a stereotype that cancer in venus is the “mother” of the zodiac (or perhaps “into” mother types, esp. if the native is male.) But very often, I’ve found it’s not this literal (and frankly, describing the characteristics like this is a bit dated.)
To keep it simple (and more accurate): they care.
I’ve never met a cancer venus who doesn’t fundamentally care.
This doesn’t mean they automatically “love everyone” (and certainly doesn’t mean they automatically love you), but if you’re in their circle, especially if you’re friends, family, colleagues, or otherwise “in the clan”… they care. They may not love you, but they want you comfortable: fed, warm, and feeling included (i.e., emotionally secure.)
And they sure as hell notice if you leave without saying goodbye.
What does a venus in cancer need in love?
How do you show a venus in cancer you love them?
Care. Show them emotional security. Let them know you are a safe space to store their love; that loving you won’t mean having their mushy heart ripped out.
Above all: reassure them, especially through actions that are consistent over time, that you’ll be there, and that you’re not going anywhere. Venus in cancer wants you close (ideally, physically rightupagainstthem via cuddles, though in the same room will, I suppose, do.)
When they share feelings with you, take them seriously — and when their biggest complaint is that they feel “uncertain” or “insecure,” know that they are unfurling their biggest fears and soft points in love, and take care with it.
Spend time with them. Look at them when they speak. Show them tenderness and gentle energy. Give them the same consideration they likely show you.
And, if all else fails: CUDDLES.
How does a venus in cancer show they love you?
How do you know if a venus in cancer likes you?
The short answer is that “they care,” but of course this becomes difficult because (see above) they care about everyone in their circle.
If you are a cut above, however, you should feel it.
If you’re friends / only flirting / they’re playing coy (like they do): they may show care to the group but in a way that’s meant to target you… for example, asking if “anyone” is hungry while looking at you / waiting for “everyone’s” response but really pausing until they hear it from you. They’ll cook / direct the group to food they know you like. They’ll suggest eating inside, not out, if they think you’re cold. They’ll *ever so casually* ask about your day to day life, but focus on things like your mom, your dog, whatever’s sentimental or brings you joy. They’ll look up at you with an expression of sad yearning if you casually touch them in passing, or get up from the couch where you were both sitting, because the moment’s now gone and it was just too short. They’ll give you a focused expression of knowing concern if you mention feeling sad.
If you’re dating: they’ll move in, ask you to move in with them, or “let you” move in almost without having to ask them. They’ll cook for you, or want to eat out, or order in, or cook together. They’ll want movies, blankets, comfort.
And above all: CUDDLES.
Pop Culture References
Film
- Honey Boy — the poolside/bed scenes when childhood, touch-starved Otis is finally held lovingly by “Shy Girl” neighbor, played by FKA Twigs. (This film is based on the life of Shia LaBeouf, who has Venus in cancer irl.)
- The entirety of The Bridges of Madison County, a love story with two actors who both have natal Venus in cancer
- John Cusack (cancer sun) in Serendipity, Must Love Dogs, High Fidelity
- Tom Hanks (cancer sun) in Big, Cast Away, The Terminal, Forrest Gump, Sleepless in Seattle, You’ve Got Mail, etc.
Cancer Venus Celebrities
+recommended films
Natalie Portman (Garden State, Where The Heart Is), Ginnifer Goodwin (He’s Just Not That Into You), Frances McDormand, Kathy Bates (Blindside), Meryl Streep (The Bridges of Madison County), Cameron Diaz (The Holiday), Halle Berry, Courteney Cox, Elizabeth Hurley, Angelina Jolie, Kim Cattrall
Clint Eastwood (The Bridges of Madison County), Keanu Reeves (The Lake House), Ben Affleck (Chasing Amy), Dustin Hoffman (The Graduate), Steve Martin (Father Of The Bride), Matthew Perry (Fools Rush In), Edward Norton (Fight Club), Shia LaBeouf (Peanut Butter Falcon), Rupert Grint (Harry Potter)
Cancer Venus Playlist
Artists w/ cancer Venus (+recommended songs): Everlast (Only Love Can Break Your Heart), Stevie Nicks (Leather And Lace), Ray LaMontagne (Such A Simple Thing), Active Child (Silhouette), Lenny Kravitz (I Belong To You)
Artists w/ cancer moon (+recommended songs): Paul Simon (Cecilia), Taylor Swift (Lover, Cardigan, Willow), Van Morrison (Tupelo Honey, Crazy Love), Elvis Costello (She), Jack White (Love Interruption), Alex Ebert/Edward Sharpe & the Magnetic Zeros (Mayla), Muse, Modest Mouse
Artists w/ other cancer placements (+recommended songs): Lana Del Rey (Summertime Sadness), Miley Cyrus (Malibu), BROODS (Life After), Leon Bridges (River)
General sound: Harry Styles (Sweet Creature), Dean Lewis (Adore), The Maccabees (Toothpaste Kisses), Phillip Phillips (Home), The Neighbourhood (Daddy Issues and Sweater Weather, esp. “sad versions”/slowed), Christina Perri (A Thousand Years), Clint Michigan (Hawthorne To Hennepin)
A few caveats
The way someone with cancer Venus feels to you will vary depending on your chart
And the health of the individual (of course.) For some (myself included), this is damn near the perfect placement (note: there’s no such thing as “perfect” placement, but there are certainly some synastry aspects that feel really nice.) Fellow water placements (esp. venus) may adore them. Earth signs may appreciate their steadfast loyalty.
Yes, the unhealthy cancer Venus can pose problems.
Just like ANY sign, or Venus, or any other placement, if unhealthy, can pose problems. There is no “perfect” placement — it’s all a matter of what your personal preference is, what jives well with you, and finding someone, of course, who is a reasonably healthy, developed version of their chart.
When unhealthy, cancer (any planet) can become manipulative, clingy, possessive, whiny, jealous, shaming, passive aggressive. They may bottle only to have emotional outbursts, they may stay covert, they may use tears.
When healthy, however, this placement is sweet and straightforward; tender and true.
