This is one post where I wish you and I were associates in real life. In that scenario, we would be outdoors at some cafe and you’d bare your soul with these words that you’ve written.
First, I’d give you that “really” look and then I’d say “snap out of it.”
Not to minimize your feelings, though, because all of this is very real! I feel this sometimes and I’m way beyond 30…
Still, I would tell you to snap out of it — simply because you have the tools to achieve what you desire.
You seem to be clear on how you don’t want to achieve your writing goal . Turn off that old “broke writer” tape that’s on repeat.
Put on a new tape and tell yourself a story of how you do want to achieve your successful writing career.
Every writer likes a good story so here’s something I do when I find myself in a battling the “blues”. I “screenplay” it.
Start with Who, What? How?
My favorite way to begin is with “The Fugitive” logline. This reminds me my problems could be “different”
Protagonist: Prominent Doctor
Problem: falsely accused of killing his wife
Goal: must evade capture by a U.S. Marshal; find the real killer, the one-arm man, to prove his innocence.
Your turn! You’re a writer, write yourself the life story you really want to live!
I look forward to reading about your success.