Remember this pain. It will be useful one day.
I think we all yearn to be seen. It’s one of the reason we love, and why we put premium on relationships. We want to be known, recognized, understood by this person we wanted to be our life’s witness.
So when it fails, the rejection stings because it’s more than about incompatibility issues. At the most basic level, it is a refusal to see you as a subject worthy to be cherished.
I’m hurt. But conversations with myself and other people are more fruitful now. The words carry a weight I didn’t know before.
This pain will be useful to me. This pain is rite of passage. A coming of age. Something that all humans have experienced at one point in their lives.
I am not alone in this sorrow. But this grief is mine. Allow me to mourn. Allow me to build a better version of myself; someone who has her own light. Someone who doesn’t need another person’s fire to illuminate her.
I got off pretty easy. At least it ended fast before aspirations took a life of its own.