Find Your Happy
On Living a Beautiful Life
We all have those friends — the ones who have to be the Debbie Downer in every situation. No matter what is happening, it’s always a “Womp Womp” for them. They roll their eyes. They make a snarky comment. They come to you to talk about all of their problems. They complain about everything. There’s a little raincloud above their head. (Wait, are you that friend?)
We are privileged humans living in the land of privilege and plenty. And we’ve developed a culture of problems. We thrive on being busy, stressed, upset, angry, and feeling like shit. We complain about everything — and we know exactly who to talk to when we want solidarity. We hit the corner bar to drown our sorrows. We stuff our faces with fried food to fill the holes in our lives. We complain about how people only post their best stuff on Facebook. “They’re all liars.” Then we get jealous of other people’s lives and feel worse about ours.
Downward spiral into the abyss. Antidepressants get prescribed. And the rainclouds get bigger. When you focus on, talk about, and stand in the negative, you get more negative. Suffering only happens when we’re focused on ourselves. And man, we’re a self-focused nation. We have a presidential candidate whose most used word is “I”. We all get what we tolerate.
What you believe becomes your reality.
Last week was the Unleash the Power Within conference with Tony Robbins. I walked in without expectation and walked out with my beautiful life. I already had it, but man, those limiting beliefs were REALLY holding me back from believing in myself and being fully happy. I had tons of people in my life who believed in me way more than I believed in myself and it was time to step into who I really am. Before the conference, I knew exactly who to go to when I wanted to complain about life, work, or relationships. After the conference, I knew exactly what to do to find my happy daily.
I know this may sound crazy, but my life is actually better than it looks on Facebook. I wake up each day with a “rock it out” mentality. Yes, the Fear Monster jumps in and wrecks things from time to time but generally speaking, my life rocks in all aspects at this 35-year-old moment. Tony Robbins didn’t change me, and he told 9,000 of us that he wasn’t there to do that. But he definitely gave me a toolset to use to show up as the Melanie who truly believes I rock it out.
Change is never a matter of ability.
It’s a matter of momentum.
- Tony Robbins
Now that I’m back in the real world, rested, and ready to live it daily, I know I have to keep up the momentum. It’s time to stop looking for the problems and start focusing on truly living a beautiful life. And it’s ALL about momentum. Those who are happy tend to stay happy. Joyful people find more joy. It’s a shift in mindset. And it only takes a heartbeat to change your emotion. I have to make better decisions about who I spend time with, what I say, and where I go to find solidarity. I am joyful. I will now surround my life with people full of joy.
Want to find YOUR happy? If you’re ready to stop the negativity and live in your beautiful life, rock these 6 steps and start the momentum:
- 90 second rule. When you’re suffering, tell yourself you’ll only do it for 90 seconds and then move on.
- Write your gratitude. Make a list of everything you’re grateful for. Every day. Start by writing down the simplest things like running water and a bathroom in your home. Then focus on the bigger things like the fact that you GET to go to work and that you have amazing people in your life. You have way more to be grateful for than you realize.
- Smile. Move all the muscles in your whole face by bursting out into a smile. Even if you don’t want to, smile and see what happens to your mood. Go for it — stretch out those muscles. See what happens to your eyes when you do it.
- Give someone a compliment. Tell them you like their hat, shirt, shoes, glasses, lipstick, whatever. Filling up someone else’s love tank will fill up yours. Do it to random people on the street. It will make you feel more connected.
- Laugh. Out loud. Find a funny video. Get someone to tell you a joke. Just picture something silly and start laughing. It’s contagious. Other people will start laughing and it will make you laugh harder.
- Dance! And I mean it. Not like a little scuttle in your office chair — get up and move your body! Be like Phoebe on Friends running through Central Park with her arms waving wildly. Dance like you own it. Turn on your favorite song and shake your booty. Make people look at you and wonder what the heck got into you.
The reason most people will look at you funny when you do most of these is because they haven’t found their happy. Happy people freak other people out. Live that beautiful life and people will want to know what you have that they don’t. Get out there and find your happy.