White Crocs are popular — how did that happen?
My teenage son turned around a few weeks ago and openly announced that he would like a pair of white Crocs. My mouth fell open in unconstrained horror. Of all the hideous shoes known to cover human feet, those really are it. Crocs even make winkle pickers look good (if you don’t know what those are…ask your grandparents). As a child of the ’90s, where it was black, black or black, the idea of a teenager contemplating wearing large white plastic boats on their feet is devastating. I was desperate to own a pair of docs in the previous century, and I can still hear my mother’s voice today saying ‘good grief, those things are disgusting, there is no way I’m buying you a pair of those. You’ll look like all those other children’. I think ‘other’ referred to my friends, who she never liked (won’t go there today). So, like most of my generation of parents, we try and do things slightly differently to our own parents and we respond differently to situations that crop up where we now get to play the role of the parent. Unfortunately, I responded like my mom — ‘urgh those Crocs are disgusting’, and then I lied and said he would never get a pair, and promptly ordered them online for under the Christmas tree. I think he knows this has occurred and is safe in the knowledge he will get his butt-ugly Crocs before the end of the year.
How did this happen? How did Crocs, ugly stinky Crocs become popular? Do you know they even have gadgets to stick in the breathe holes! Anyway, my point is this, Crocs, like many unsavory humans, are popular. How does that work? The question struck me this week when in conversation with a friend, we spoke about ‘the popular kids’ in school. What really and truly makes someone popular? How do they rise to that status? I’m completely discounting celebrities and people with loads of money. I’m just talking about popularity in schools or communities. The people who other people feel the need to place on a pedestal and admire or aspire to be. Often in real life, as in many teen movies, the popular kids are not friendly, loving people. They are more often than not, mean. They are bullies and extremely materialistic. Why oh, why would someone like that be something to be admired? It makes no sense!
I did a little internet digging in order to try and understand the popularity phenomenon and it turns out there are schools of thought that say popularity is about being kind and focusing on others, having large social circles, the art of having good conversational skills and acts of grace, as well as being able to take control of one’s social life. Sounds really appealing actually — so how did the mean-popular girl come into existence? How did she bubble to the surface? A conundrum indeed and we all know one of ‘those’ girls!
I recently read Stargirl by Jerry Spinelli. It’s so beautiful! Every teen should read it and absorb it. So should every adult who has suffered through adolescence. Without giving too much away it unpacks being different, being yourself, falling into a crush and getting swept up in popular opinion, despite the little voice inside of you. Like wearing white crocs — basically. No, seriously, the book encapsulates the complexity of popularity and its opposite evil: rejection.
This week has shown me two things in relation to popularity and social status. One, children with social anxiety should not be called up on stage to be handed an award — they literally feel like dying. Making them suffer through that is cruel. Some people don’t want to be seen or be popular, they do want to blend into the school corridor brick wall. They are few though. Most want to be popular, or have a taste of popularity and what it could be like to be sprinkled from head to toe with the shining admiration of their peers. The problem lies in when the admiration turns to sharp little cuts of jealousy. ‘Oh, you’re just popular because you’re the smart/sporty/pretty/ handsome kid’. Ouch. White crocs are none of these things and therefore their popularity is still a great mystery.
In essence, and despite trying to pin it down, popularity is more like a luxurious scent that can be smelt on a person, rather than a definition. Popular folk float their gifts in front of us and we are awed. When someone is popular, you just know it. You can but hope that they are popular for all those good reasons, and none of the meanness. You can also try and watch your thoughts and how they immediately rush to the negative when thinking of those popular folks — finding things to pick at and be mean about. Perhaps they didn’t choose to be popular. Perhaps they are just talented, hardworking and really nice to be around. Perhaps, they can’t be friends with everyone, and you are probably one of everyone.
Let me leave you with a lovely story. I met a woman who told me that she ended up becoming great friends with the beautiful tall blonde mom, who looked like Daryl Hannah because she was standing across a classroom, tall and distant looking (popular by her evasiveness). The fearless woman walked up to the haughty blonde and said ‘Hi, what’s your name?’. Turns out the blonde was also fun, kind, sporty and great to be around. She was just feeling awkward at the school event. If you think someone is cool, grow a pair and go and chat to them — you’ll quickly learn what kind of popular they are.
Still doesn’t explain the crocs, who would ever want to speak to a pair of those!
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