About Us: YOGATX

I’ve got a long story to get through y’all so pay attention! I should probably warn y’all that this story involves me breaking my back, so if y’all take any issue with that, there’s the door! No, not that door. That’s the door to the wine cellar we have here at YOGATX. I meant the door next to that door, the door which directly leads to the parking lot.

Alright! My name is Nina Valdez, and yes, I am part of the Valdez family dynasty, makers of Valdez Fine Room Dividers since 12 B.C. Being a rambunctious, athletic child, I dreamt of the day I would become the first child Strongman Champion. My training consisted of two, count ’em, TWO hours of deadlifts and one hour of bench pressing literal park benches every day before my driver took me to school, by which I mean I would attach the limo to my back with a large chain and drag it the four, count ’em, FOUR blocks to Carvey Elementary. The Strongman Championship was so close, I could taste it. That is, until that one day in third grade when I decided to enter my school’s talent show, my talent being I would overhead squat all 350 lbs. of tin can food my school had collected for the nearby food pantry. And this is the part where I broke my back in front of the entire school and PTA. I blacked out from the pain, but my doctors tell me that it took the entire class of gifted kindergarteners and the janitor a solid ten minutes, count ’em, TEN minutes to free me from the tin can rubble. My doctors told me that I would never walk again. But did I let that stop me? Hell no! Quitting is for losers, so one year later, during the annual talent show, I personally thanked the gifted kindergarten class and the janitor for their help by having them all stand on a riser while I, thanks to countless hours of physical therapy and the sheer will power of a ten year-old, walked up onto the stage and bench pressed them. I won first place y’all!

So how does yoga fit in to my story? I’ll tell y’all. During my recovery, my doctors recommended I take up yoga to help regain my balance and flexibility that I had lost while under the tin cans of food. At first, I wasn’t too excited to do yoga because it looked like a wimpy person’s exercise, but after a few months of practice, I realized that I felt better and stronger, both on the inside and the outside. Yoga had changed my life, and I decided that I should share this with y’all. At the age of 22, I became a yoga instructor and opened my very own studio.

But don’t think my story’s done yet, y’all. Because just as I was becoming a successful yoga instructor, my family’s room divider empire was beginning to collapse. Apparently, y’all don’t use room dividers anymore for all of the following reasons:

  1. Walls exist

2. Other rooms exist

3. Y’all can push them over

4. Y’ll can just close your eyes

As a result, my family looked to me to come up with a plan to save the business. While meditating one night on a possible solution, some ideas I came up with for repurposing room dividers were:

  1. Attach a motor to them and presto, a dinghy

2. Turn each panel into propellers for an oversized ceiling fan

3. A stage for hand puppets

But these all seemed so wrong. After spending some time staring at a blank space on my wall, it finally hit me: I could start the trend of using room dividers to decorate yoga studios. With the advantage of posting my classes online for free, my yoga studio became known for not only the top-notch yoga instructors, but also for the top-notch room dividers. Soon, orders were pouring in from all over asking, “Where did y’all get that lovely room divider? I must have one!” My plan worked out pretty nicely, and my family’s business was saved.

Alright y’all, that’s it for my story. I’m not one to get too sentimental and drag out my endings. Let’s give me a round of applause. And if y’all have any questions, you know where to find me — behind a room divider working on hand puppets.

This “About Us” is fake. YogaTX is real, so check them out. I practice yoga every morning with their videos and they work!

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