do i choose the god who let me go
or the life devoid of any hope?
do i stand for things that do not seem true
or let go of thoughts that have no proof?
do i endure the pain for no known cause
or live with no acknowledgement of my flaws?
do i continue to beg god to show his face
or forget his word and dismiss his grace?
do i rest on god’s promise that i will be healed
or repress my past and keep it concealed?
do i adopt the way god sees who i am
or continue being used by any willing man?
is he real and my heart just hard
or was i fooled and my mind not on guard?
is his love rich and satisfying
or is it better to place my hope in dying?
is he controlling this life i lead
or are his words simply a book to read?
is joy springing from love and sanctification
or is it a choice based on cultural obligation?
is my value inherent because of my father
or do i earn it, perform, or not even bother?
life is a blessing
life is a phase
life is for living
number your days
people are forgiven
people just hurt
people have purpose
love doesn’t work
will my cries be heard after years of asking
or will god be silent and my emotions require masking?
will i be shown reasons for my abusive past
or will it keep my days afraid and downcast?
will my nightmares end and tears subside
or will my request for peace be forever denied?
will i experience freedom from my wounds and hurts
or be a desperate slave who is overworked?
will i find energy and strength to keep on thriving
or will my heart give out and i stop surviving?
god is love
god is enough
Originally published at capturedbyfreedomblog.wordpress.com on July 9, 2017.