UC me rollin’… [the ultimate poop]

Hey everyone, long time no write. I wish I could say I was doing something exotic or life-changing like researching the jungles of the Amazon to find a magical worm that when steamed to 130 degrees and eaten with the leaf of the rare Bromeliads plant can cure all autoimmune diseases. No, It wasn’t that exciting, sadly. I really just needed to focus on my health and getting better. You see the last I left you was after my successful colonoscopy. The results came back and we were all surprised. Looks like thirty days…


UC me rollin’… [at the grocery store]

It’s still January. It has felt like January has lasted longer than 23 days. January is seriously the Monday of all the months. It feels like it will never end. There are couple reasons, for me, why it feels like it’s forever. For one, my sphincter is on holiday and my colon is taking advantage. My colon has no regard for my time, plans, outfits, even underwear. He just doesn’t care about me. Second, this medication is working, then it’s not, then it gives me the most epic gas. Literal Guinness world breaking…


UC me rollin’… [at Michael’s craft store]

HAPPY NEW YEAR! This week was a busy week for my body, also for some healing and of course pooping in my pants. (Didn’t think I was going to hit that in the first sentence did ya?) Well, last Tuesday was the first day back from Christmas vacation and I felt refreshed but tired and still awaiting lab results. The doctor needed to dissect my frozen fudge pop to make sure I didn’t have any bacteria in my belly abyss. I knew the answer to this…. NO. I HAVE ULCERATIVE COLITIS, but I…


Christmas and New Year’s season is almost winding down here and I’m still utterly bursting at the seams with excitement. Well, if you’ve kept up with my blogs you know what that means… excitement= poop explosions. So now I have to pretend like I’m a hipster and go against the grain and reject the mainstream banalities of Christmas and New Year’s and express my inner self by buying everyone’s Christmas present at the local thrift shop. All of this, of course, to trick my colon into believing I am absolutely not [but really I am] excited about the holiday season…


Where shall I begin? This weekend was our first snow and we were locked in the house all of Saturday. Hot cocoa and cookies, Christmas movies, soup for lunch, and kids warm and rosy after frolicking in the snow. Sounds like a dream, right? Well, it was. I spent Saturday running up a flight of stairs every time I had to, you know, “go.” Friday night my toilet decided to go on strike. I imagine if my toilet had a name it would be Harold and his dialogue probably went a little like this:

Harold: “You know Meli, I’m sick…


It’s 4 am. I was awakened by moaning, wailing, and deep screams from the depths of Hades. No, my house is not haunted, but it seems like my intestines might be. How can I better describe these sounds? Imagine a brood of porpoises fighting over bags of Corn Nuts and Doritos then viciously devouring them. That’s what woke me up at 4 am.

What is wrong with me? Well in 2011 I was diagnosed with an autoimmune disease called ulcerative colitis. And since then I have been on a very interesting journey with my colon. Let’s rephrase that, my colon…

Melissa Aviles

Mother of 2, music teacher, day dreamer, Disney lover, wife of a rock star, and sunshine unicorns, dinosaurs and rainbows. Also…i have ulcerative colitis.

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