“Your greatest self has been waiting your whole life; don’t make it wait any longer.” — Steve Maraboli

Why do you need a mission statement during or after a divorce?

Because your life has been flip-turned-upside-down, girl.

The sooner you set yourself up with a kick-ass life mission statement, the more quickly you’ll bounce the hell back up and rise above the muck.

But after such a life-altering experience, how can you expect yourself to come up with a mission statement? What if you’re still crying over the things you bought together that only one of you now has? Or if dividing up the furniture is still making you sad, yet angry? Or if you’re going through a horribly drama-filled divorce and there are kids involved? Or if you’re still bitter or feeling betrayed?

THIS IS THE BEST TIME TO WRITE YOUR FREAKING MISSION STATEMENT.

Your emotions are raw, you have energy that you need to do something with.

Make it something positive.

Write yourself such an amazing life mission statement, your ex won’t even recognize you when you’re living it full out (and you will live it full out).

Here’s how to go about writing your new-and-improved-me mission statement:

(I suggest getting a journal.)

1. where you currently are. You have to know where you are in order to chart a course toward where you want to be.

2. Name and define the different areas in your life. Child-rearing, finances, career, housing, etc. Make a separate category for each, because you are going to address each one and give it its due.

3. Take the time to really think about how you want to feel in each part of your life that you defined in step two. How you want to FEEL. Write it down.

4. Think about where you want to be in the next five years with respect to each of those life areas. Write it down.

5. Now, work backwards. Where will you need/want to be in the next three years to stay on track to meet your five year goals? Yes — write it down. All of it.

6. Last, map out baby steps. How will you know you are on target in the next three months? Six months? Year?

The most important thing you can do as you gather the pieces of the mission statement is to focus on how you FEEL as you set the benchmarks. If it doesn’t feel good to you as you write it out, REWRITE IT. Remember: you are the author of your life. This is YOUR new-me mission statement. Tweak it however you see fit.

The last step is, of course, to write out the mission statement. You have chunks to piece together. Write it out as the story of your NEW life. Include vibrant, meaningfully, empowering descriptives as you write. This is something you’re going to read to yourself every day, perhaps several times per day. Jazz it up. Get excited about it! This is your new kick-ass story.

I know divorce and the aftermath can feel devastating. But you’ll get through it. I promise. Writing yourself a new-me mission statement is a fabulous tool to help you take the next step toward returning to thriving.

With love and light,

Melissa