Be Brave. Say Hello. Your Life Might Change.
It was Tuesday night.
I was sitting in a spacious Starbucks in the middle of REI in Denver getting some work done when I looked up. Across the room, I noticed a man I had never seen until that moment. The very first thing I noticed about him was his smile, and the kindness with which he was engaging in conversation with another guy.
It immediately struck me: I should introduce myself to that man.
Now, this feeling doesn’t happen often. I don’t typically feel the compulsion to walk up to perfect strangers and introduce myself. But on that particular day, I did. It felt like I couldn’t leave without saying something. I had no specific intention for the introduction- not business, not romantic, not anything that would normally lead you to introduce yourself to someone new. I just had this gentle, knowing feeling that was tugging at me. That if he was as kind and warm and good a soul as I perceived, my life would be better for knowing him. And as crazy as it seemed, I had to allow the chance for it.
So, I wrote a little note. “Hi!,” it read. “I noticed your smile from across the room. I’d love to get to know you. Here’s my number- feel free to call. If not, I just want you to know you radiate warmth and kindness.” I walked over to him on our way out and said (I was sooo nervous), “Hey! I think this is yours.” He turned around and graciously took the piece of paper, a little confused, the expression on his face revealing his quick processing that this was not, in fact, a piece of paper he actually dropped. He smiled and graciously took the piece of paper, anyway. (Phew!) And you can bet I scurried away quickly-you know, just in case he tried to give it back to me.
The next afternoon, I got a call from Jesse. “You were kind enough to give me that piece of paper I dropped yesterday, and I wanted to call to say thank you.” It is interesting how you can feel a smile through the phone. “I don’t know if you’re busy right now, but if you are, do you want to grab coffee?”
Absolutely. That sounds like a good afternoon adventure to me, Jesse.
And so, we met. We talked over tea in the sun for a few hours. Here was this man, sitting across from me, who I didn’t know existed 24 hours before. I didn’t even know his name until an hour earlier. I didn’t know what he was like in a direct conversation until that moment.
And yet, we sat there and shared our stories with one another. About life, love, relationships, God, fears, hopes, histories. Here the two of us were, interwoven in a moment in time that we could never have predicted and would never be able to replicate. Two lives, merged suddenly. A stranger, and now, my friend.
Jesse was only here for the week visiting family and friends. I was so close to never knowing him, and now that I do, that would have been very sad. It is only when you meet certain people that you realize you’d miss them even if you never got to meet.
Before he left today, Jesse invited me to breakfast before he got on a plane to go back home to the east coast. Our extended conversation was an easy melody; a gentle dance between heavy and light, philosophical and funny, future and past. “I’m so glad I know him,” I thought, as I watched him devour his (very delicious looking, definitely not Whole 30-approved) pancakes across from me.
As I said goodbye to him today, I felt a few things.
One was, “Damn, my instincts about people are good!” Jesse is as kind, warm, and effervescent as I imagined in those first few moments of observation a few days earlier.
The second feeling was reverence. After spending some time with him this week, I was taken by his honesty, vulnerability, passion, open-mindedness, bravery, and beautifully creative mind. I am so glad I know him now. This new friendship feels like a gift to me.
The last, the most prevalent feeling, is this: brave serendipity. I do brave things in my life, but this particular act of bravery felt truly terrifying. When you put yourself out there like that, you risk rejection, embarrassment, and a host of other uncomfortable feels. I was floating for a few hours after I gave him that piece of paper and scurried off, just because I was so proud of myself for being brave. The outcome almost wasn’t the point; my moment of bravery was.
Right before I walked away today, I said to Jesse, “Isn’t it strange? Three days ago I didn’t know you. And now, you’re part of my little universe. Do you ever wonder, when you pass a stranger, what life would be like if they were in your little universe?” Jesse looked at me, smiled, nodded.
This is the thing I will remember most: that every single day, we are steps away from strangers just waiting to become friends. All it takes is a moment of courage the next time you spot someone interesting in the wild of life- someone who makes you pay attention. All it takes is walking up to them and saying:
I love your shoes.
You have the best smile.
Your happiness is infectious.
Your laughter is contagious.
You seem like the kindest person.
I couldn’t help but notice you from across the room.
Maybe it’ll be awkward. Maybe you’ll get rejected. Maybe the person will think you’re totally strange.
But, I’ve come to realize that the likelihood falls strongly in the favor of you making someone smile. Of you making someone’s day. Of you making a friend for a moment, or a season, or for life.
If nothing else, you’ll feel braver. You’ll start to notice more of the beauty in more people. And you’ll remember, more and more, what you already know:
That we are all here on this planet for a brief moment in time, to truly see one another, to know one another, to love one another, and to have as many beautiful experiences with them as we possibly can.
The next time you’re walking around outside, notice the beautiful and kind things about others. Tell them- don’t keep the good things to yourself. Remember that every day, at every turn, each person you see has an incredible story- full of hopes and fears and loves and heartbreaks and rich histories that brought them to that moment, the one they are having right before your eyes.
Remember that you have your own beautiful, constantly unfolding story, that you are so worthy of being known- and whether you realize it or not, that total strangers and friends and family are noticing your loveliness and humanness, and wishing beautiful things for you.
Whenever you can, whenever you feel you must, opt into bravery. Introduce yourself to a stranger. Say something kind.
It might just be a beautiful, brief, semi-awkward moment in time.
But, it also might change the other person’s life.
And it might just change yours.
