How Many Fucks Is Too Many Fucks, and What’s Not Enough?
I read this article today about giving less of a fuck, it made me think about all of my relationships. Giving a fuck isn’t a bad thing, but when that person isn’t giving the same amount of fucks as you are, then you’re simply wasting your time. They’re wasting your time and their own.
My last relationship was confusing because he did sort of give a fuck, he was so funny and nice to me and my friends. It wasn’t as simple as saying he didn’t give any fucks, because he did a few fucks. But he just couldn’t give the same amount. He would tell me that he was getting closer to giving more fucks. He was like holding an, I-think-I-can-give-more-fucks-about-you carrot over my head. The entire time I kept thinking, if I just wait, he’s finally give the same amount of fucks.
It wasn’t until we went to a mutual friends house that my eyes were finally and sadly opened to the fact that he wasn’t even sort of close. It was heart breaking. It’s not his fault. The truth is we all have a limited amount of fucks we can give in a day, so it depends on where our focus is. I’ve most likely given way too many fucks about things I can’t control, like love. Which doesn’t even last forever and the best case scenario is we get old together and someone dies, and one of us is left alone. (Louis CK reference)
Maybe he was on the right page about giving less of a fuck and focusing on himself.
When I look back at the relationship as a whole, I don’t feel like it was a waste of time at all. When two people enter a relationship, someone is gonna give a fuck and someone isn’t gonna give as much of a fuck. He just wasn’t in a place or I wasn’t the right person for him to give more of a fuck about. Giving too much of a fuck doesn’t make-up for the lack of fucks given on the other side, and most likely pushes them away. Although, if no one gives a fuck, then nothing happens.
I guess, I really gave too many fucks. Which is silly, there are other things I need to give a fuck about. Like finding a job that doesn’t make me want to cry every time I go there. However, I want to give a fuck about someone who wants to give a fuck about me. Who’s not trying to make himself give a fuck, but who actually gives a fuck.
Until then, my goal is to give less fucks about things that don’t matter and more fucks about things that do. I’m going to give a fuck about myself, my friends, my family and finding things that make me happy and giving less fucks when it comes to things that don’t.
I chose the road that gave less of a fuck.