Just Because It’s Casual Doesn’t Mean It Can’t Be Kind

I had the best Valentine’s Day this year. I woke up to the smell of Coffee, Eggs, Bacon and French Toast filling the air…and as I got out of bed and went into the kitchen to see the most amazing breakfast spread, and I thought, I’m a shitty, shitty person. I didn’t get my roommate anything, but also I was filled with this weird sadness, because it was such a great gesture and it wasn’t from a lover, it was just from my best friend.

Then I had to sort of reset and be like, god you’re such an ungrateful person. Like, friendship love is just as awesome as regular love, so why did I need to diminish how awesome this breakfast was? So I was like, fuck that feeling bad for yourself shit, this is awesome as hell. I had one of the best Valentines days ever.

I am honestly so lucky. I have such amazing guy friends and they spoil me. I don’t think I would know how men are supposed to treat women if it wasn’t for my guy friends. My guy friends take me out to dinner and open doors. I had sex with this guy recently, and had to tell him to take me out to breakfast. I mean, he was fine about it, but I was like, I just gave you pussy, make me feel a little special, I don’t want anything serious, but be a gentleman. Just fake it for one more hour.

I wonder what happened? A long time ago I feel like the men I would have casual sex with, were at least friendly. They weren’t so totally detached. It was like the difference between 70’s porn and current porn. In the 70’s, at least we knew why the guy was there, right? “I’ve come to deliver pizza.” and the girls like, “Oh, great, could you also fuck me?” and he obliges. But now guys just have sex with a girl and as a woman you’re like, man, I mean, I guess I should feel lucky he let me spend the night. Like, woman have a sex drive and so do men, but we can still be human when helping each other out. Like, if you don’t want her to spend the night, pay for the uber home for her. If she spends the night, then get her breakfast. It’s not a big deal, it’s just being a good person.

I guess that’s my issue, we can still have casual sex, and be good to each other. We should be, because we just did something rather intimate with another person, it’s like we might as well be thoughtful. I don’t know? Eggs doesn’t mean marriage. Sleeping over doesn’t mean she loves you, it just means it’s late. Chill and treat a casual lay like you would want to be treated, or you think would make someone feel good, because it’s gonna get you laid again.

I would hope that if any of my best guy friends are having casual sex, that they at least take her to breakfast and text her later that they had a great time. I doubt they do, but I would hope, because they’re pretty great men to me, so I hope they treat the women they sleep with just as well. Just because it’s casual doesn’t mean it can’t be kind.

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