What’s Questlove Got To Do With it?
A few months ago I went out to meet a friend and go dancing, and I had been working a lot of overnights, and I was exhausted and so excited to actually let out some stream. I love soul music and saw that Questlove was going to be throwing one of his Bowltrain nights. Of course, I didn’t read the fine print, where it said that it was going to be a slow jams night. So when I showed up expecting to dance to some old school soul — it was basically, that song, “I’ll make love to you, like you want me to and I’ll hold you tight, baby, all through the night…” over and over and over, or that’s what it felt like and you can’t really dance to that. You can’t even really make love to that. I mean, that’s like the kind of love you make where you love them so much you don’t mind that they aren’t totally erect and they keep pushing their soft penis into you kind of love, that’s the kind of love you make to that song. ANYWAY…
I was frustrated that I had wasted my time and money, but mostly I was sad because I was really excited, and while I should have read the small print and I accept that…the truth was, there were a lot of people when I got to the venue that night, and I wasn’t the only one who wasn’t feeling the slow jams. I tried to go up to the booth, and say, maybe this isn’t working, but was pushed away. I’m sorry, but even a five star chef would accept feedback if they cleared the entire restaurant because the food happens to be shitty that night — while fans might know how talented they are usually, that night they were serving up some shit.
I felt the need to unload some verbal poopshit, and so I took to the instagram and unleashed my frustration. I did this of course, with the belief that he’s not actually going to even respond or care and that most likely he has people that do his social media, so it won’t matter. Although, I should have known better. This is what happened:
I honestly didn’t imagine that Questlove would respond. While I still stand by the words of a woman with a shitty schedule, who simply wanted to fucking dance. There’s a huge part of me that feels bad, because I didn’t want to be that person who’s just hiding behind my computer trolling someone and attacking them. I wouldn’t go up to him on the street and rip him a new asshole. Just because we can have these forums to speak to people that we wouldn’t normally have access to, does that make it okay to say shitty things.
But also, did he need to even respond? The truth is, probably saying nothing would have been better, because he didn’t know me, and I was being a dick. However, I like him more as a human because he did, because he was being transparent and he showed me that he actually deeply loves what he does, and wants to give people something more than just a night of music, because it’s clearly more than that to him...and I can see why it can be totally depressing and heartbreaking when someone like Questlove worked so hard on something, only to watch a generation of people barely listen, because they’re too busy swiping right to notice what’s right in front of them.
However, my last point is the other side of what happened, which is how social influence works. That just like I said something crappy to a person, with this level of detachment, because I didn’t think they would read it or even care…I’m not sure why? But that was how I felt. When Questlove responded, so did his fans. They really took it upon themselves to rip me a new asshole. They didn’t know me. To them, I was someone who had attacked someone they loved, and so I wasn’t a real person. I’m not used to being attacked on the internet, but even though you don’t know those people and they don’t know you, there’s something about it that feels really gross…like getting sucker punched on the street by a stranger and then they laugh and run away.
It’s so okay for us to say whatever we want from the safety of our phones and computer screens that we forget those are actual people. Those people have parents and friends and lives, they are all doing the best they can and we simply choose to not care because they’re just an icon on a screen.
What does Questlove really have to do with all of this?
Shortly after all of this happened, I had this weird moment where I realized that I was living a lot of my life in my phone. I was always on searches for everything, from food, to new apps, to jobs, to finding love, to everything but just enjoying what already have. This need for more became a sickness, and there was always going to be more, and it got to the point where nothing made me happy once I was doing it, because then I needed to find something else.
Maybe it’s the time we live in, with social media and having so much access to everyone and everything. We don’t get to anticipate anything. We are just these anxiety filled assholes waiting for something to happen all the time and never actually enjoying what’s happening, because something is gonna happen any minute. It’s this feeling like we’re all special little butterflies and we need to be awesome all the time and the stuff we do needs to be awesome and brilliant, because everything is always awesome and brilliant...or full of passion or love, and it’s all bullshit. I don’t want to be awesome or brilliant. That’s a lie, of course I do. Just not all the time…It’s exhausting. I just want a few Forrest Gump moments, that’s all.
The point, This is a sort of a thank you and an apology letter to Questlove, because I was dick to a man I didn’t know, and that’s not cool…but also, I needed to get the hell off of my phone and start enjoying my life, in the most boring and chill present way possible.