A Breakup Letter to Pandora
My beloved Pandora,
From the first day I discovered you, it was a match made in heaven. You were an attentive partner, anticipating my every musical need. You listened — you knew all of my favorite artists, my jams, even what songs to play to impress my friends. I thought we really had something. But with time, my love for you has faded. You wanted to get serious; Commit you said. Upgrade! It’ll be great. But I just couldn’t settle down. There’s so much more out there for me to explore.
And how did you handle it? You tried to get even by playing commercials constantly, like a petulant child. You won’t even give me the freedom to skip more than 6 songs! You never listen anymore. You play the same songs over and over. I feel like I’ve lost you. Pandora, you’ve changed. It’s time to move on.
It’s time you know I’ve been cheating on you with:
Songza gets me in ways you wouldn’t understand. See, instead of searching for artists, songs, or albums, Songza recommends playlists based on when I’m listening, what mood I’m in, or what activity I’m doing. You thought you were a good listener? Its concierge service accommodates my activity schedule and plays just what I want to hear. Songza knows I’m busy living life and going on adventures; the last thing it wants to do is kill my vibe with a commercial!
See, Pandora, you wanted me to commit to a yearlong subscription, but you would never play me a song that was over 10 minutes! I could never take you seriously. Mixcloud is so different; it lets me listen to radio shows, DJ mixes, and podcasts, all of which are longer than your average 4-minute song. If I’m going on a long drive, Mixcloud allows me to pick a DJ set and lets me listen to it the entire time! Gone are the days of trying to decide what to listen to next; that’s a job for the DJ.
Pandora, I can’t even remember the last time you surprised me with brand new music. Hypemachine curates newly posted songs from 500 selected music blogs and lists them on its homepage. It gets me. I know when I’m treated well, getting the freshest beats off the street! Your songs are all played out, but with Hypemachine I can easily find my new favorite song to jam to in the car.
Listen, Pandora, I know I have cool friends, and there are times when I want to share music with them. When I want to be social, I can just go to 8tracks and share 8-song playlists with whomever I want. Short, sweet, simple. On 8tracks, we create the playlists we want to share. I can search already playlists or create my own with tags such as seasons or moods. Are you listening, P?!
Pandora, why won’t you just let me listen to that song again? I don’t get how you can play something so awesome and then never play it again for weeks. On Soundcloud, I can play my favorite songs and DJ sets as many times I want! It lets me to save songs to my profile and add them to my collection — to be played endlessly if I so desire. Artists upload their music to the site and share it with the world. Remember that party I went to where that DJ played that incredible set? Well, guess what: Soundcloud remembers; now I can relive that moment whenever I want.
Listen, Pandora, music should enhance the lives we live, not hinder them with limitations. Listening to you, I feel less motivated with each distraction, each commercial break or song skip limit reached. Goodbyes are never easy, but I need more than you were ever willing and able to give.
Never again yours,
Originally published at adventurself.com on February 17, 2016.