Rules for being mentally ill

I’ve had a rough couple of days this week already, and it’s only Tuesday. I’m new to struggling with mental illness. Here are the rules that I’ve learned so far:

1. Be patient with yourself. Now go back and read that again. Like, really patient. You have to sort of pretend that your brain is a little kid, a sick little kid, and it still wants to do all the play and stuff, but it can’t. So you have to remind yourself that it is okay that you can’t do things all the time like you used to. If you rest and stuff, you’ll get better, but if you try to run around a ton, you’ll get worse.
2. Be kind to yourself. Every breakdown you have is not a failure. It’s just a breakdown from you trying to hold your shit together for so long. You can get through. You’re not a horrible person. You’re a good damn person for holding on so long and waiting for treatment and being patient.
3. Rest. Do your leisure activities, even if you don’t really feel like doing them. You’ll feel better after you make a scarf, or work on jewelry, or do anything really.
4. You’re allowed to cry. Do it as much as you feel like you need to do it.
5. Work if you can. If you can’t, that’s okay. Get your coworkers to remind you that you’re doing a damn good job.
6. Confide in someone. Even if that someone is the internet. I’ve found that the only way I can validate what I’m feeling inside is to tell people about it. Just about everyone I meet really. If I tell people, then it’s real. If I don’t, then it feels like it isn’t, and that’s a horrible feeling, that your life isn’t real. It’s all real.
7. Surround yourself with supportive people, even if those people can only be there for you via skype, twitter, text, or whatever. You need those positive social interactions. You need people to tell you if you’re getting really bad or if you’re doing better. I spent a lot of this week and last week thinking that I was doing worse, because I had more panic attacks so I felt worse. But my boyfriend told me that he thought I was doing better, and even if that is a lie, I will believe it with all my heart, because I want it to be true.

There you have it. Seven easy rules for being mentally ill. Being mentally ill is no cake walk. In fact, it is one of the hardest things that I’ve ever done. I can’t wait to be better. I literally am looking forever forward to being able to get back to the hobbies that I love. I can’t do them right now because I simply don’t have the energy it takes. I really don’t. But I will get better. That’s my solemn vow. An ex-therapist of mine told me that change is inevitable. Nothing lasts. It’s like that Avenue Q song “For Now”. Life goes on. It’s okay.