So you want to work for the big box store and wear that way cool apron/vest, who wouldn’t? There are a couple of things you should know about the process. First of all, don’t apply online, that’s what most people do and the odds are slim that your application will…

What panic looks like as a child. Okay, there was this kid I knew that sometimes did weird, unexplainable things. I don’t want to pass judgment on him because as it turns out, he grew up to be a very wise person. Anyway, here’s one of the things this kid did. I guess he was about eight…

The most common phobia you have never heard of. — Way back in the third or fourth grade, I had a bulletin board in my bedroom that I used for pictures of Big Daddy Don Garlits and pictures of new cars that I had cut out of magazines. I also pinned a page from my weekly reader that featured something…

Recently, I asked my friend Jaime what the secret of his success was with women. He said the secret was having an immaculate apartment. After laughing hysterically for a few moments and noticing he was still dead serious, I asked him to explain. He told me that my apartment not…

A million years ago, I decided to run the cable to an upstairs bedroom. I did it myself because I watched the cable guy do it and it looked pretty easy. Just use a really long drill bit to make a small hole to the outside of the house, making…

The things we do for love — When I was in the first grade, several of us were walking on the rails of a very large sandbox filled with about a foot and a half of rainwater. I saw a girl I was fond of walking past and I yelled out, “Hey Suzy, watch this!” and proceeded…