The Untold Housewife Chronicles: The Sacrifice
When I was growing up the only thing I really wanted was the white picket fence, the kids, the family. Early on in my marriage I had to work. All I really wanted to do was take care of my house, kiss my babies, and be home, however at that time that was not what I could do.
If there is one positive thing I could say about myself it is once I get my mind on something I am determined to make it work. At this time my mind was on contributing to my family’s finances. In the year 2009 I was working part time for Gap Inc. I really liked my job and while I really had the thought of babies and staying home not far from my mind, I was focused on my job and making it work.
Then yall it happend. In 2011 I was pregnant with our little bean. Our little bundle of joy came into the world. Ryder was born 7 lbs 13 oz, 21 inches long and all the blonde headed blue eyed beauty of the little boy I had envisioned. I thought to myself this is it. I can stay home! I can be a Mom! I can love on my baby! Then when he was 4 months old I had to return to work. I cried that enire first day, it was hard.
As time moved on I was still working while someone else was teaching my boy his ABCs. I was still working while someone else potty trained him. I was still working while I missed all the macaroni necklace making and fun field trips. There were so many times when I drove to work in tears. It was hard letting someone else see all the milestones I missed. Someone who wasnt his Mom.
Flash forward to 2020. I am now working at a local bank. I began working there when Ryder was 2 and he was now 8. As much as I enjoyed my job, there would be many times when I would wonder what Ryder was doing at that time in class. Was he reading? Was he at music class? Was he on the playground playing real life Minecraft with his friends? All the Mom guilt would wash over me.
My son was born with a pretty severe case of asthma that was allergen induced which meant covid for him would be bad, really bad. I am a natural Mama as much as I can be so I would throw every natural immune booster I knew at him to keep him healthy. As schools closed though with no foreseeable future of a reopen, my husband and I knew we had to make a decision.
He had began a new business the year prior and it was doing really well. We were working hard to consolidate our debt. At the time we were in a pretty safe position financially. We made the decision we knew best to at the moment and that was for me to stay home.
It was really weird because you would think after all this time of wanting this I would have been jumping for joy right? I will say though walking out and leaving the tight nit work family I had made over those 6 years was rough. I was on the track to making a pretty good career there and I was leaving it to stay home.
We are two years into our homeschooling and my stay at home journey. I am currently putting myself through school to become a childrens therapist. Ryder has thrived being on a homeschool platform and things seem to be pretty good. However there are times when I do miss having a career outside of the home.
Being home is different. Not that it isnt enjoyable but its different. The basis of your every day conversation is with a small child. Your life becomes a schedule based on homeschool classes and laundry loads. Its just different. Most would think it would allow so much more freedom and while I can catch up on the latest episode of Virgin River while folding my laundry at 12 in the afternoon, it doesnt allow you to just go and do. I miss so much my lunch breaks at the office. To be able to sip on an iced coffee while browsing Target looking at all the things I dont really need, child free.
Its just different.
When I think of being a Mom in general one word comes to mind, sacrifice. Not that fathers dont sacrifice, or folks without children dont sacrifice, its just different.
When I first became a Mom there was a huge debate going around about Moms staying home vs Moms with a career. Then around Covid the same tired old argument reared its ugly head again.
Seriously girls its time to get a new one, but I digress.
One side of the aisle was concerened that kids not being at in person instruction would obstruct their work. Then you heard the other side of the aisle screaming “That is so selfish.” “Arent you concerend about the safety of your children?” First of all who even says that? Of course any parent with common sense is concerned about their kids safety, so asking that was a silly
argument to begin with. However, kids whose mommys stayed home didnt consider that maybe that mommy is the dual parent role in that childs house. Maybe they are the only source of income for that family.
The other argument was let the kids stay home. This of course was predominately shouted by the moms who already stayed home. Then you had the career moms shouting “Its easy for you ,your already home!” “ You dont have to worry because there isnt anything you have to sacrifice to stay home!” I will be the first to tell you that us stay at home moms on the majority of the days sacrifice our sanity. Not to mention you know financial freedom by making our own money, but hey no sacrifices made here.
I decided to write this blog entry for one simple reason, both parents on both sides of the aisle sacrifice. Being a parent period is sacrifice. We sacrifice our time, energy, and yes our sanity at times! I have been a Mom on both sides of the aisle. I have cried on days dropping my sweet baby boy off at a daycare where someone else got to spend the day loving on him instead of me. I cried the day I left my office thinking of all of the hard work, the time, and effort I contributed to that company over the 6 years I worked there and the friends I wouldnt see on a daily basis anymore.
It all requires sacrifice. While im sure we could easily view it one way or another, until we truly walk a mile in the experience of another it may be wise just to stick to things we know, which is our own set of circumstances.
We are all good parents because we all do the same thing, sacrifice for the most important people in our lives, our children.