Director Please Yell ‘Cut!’
I’m tired of playing in this movie….
It’s the 3rd of November, a Tuesday afternoon in Nigeria and I am frustrated. I didn’t expect to be writing another piece related to the #EndSARS protests so soon, but Nigeria being the unpleasant gift that keeps giving, provides the perfect fodder for creating content.
‘Being a Nigerian is abysmally frustrating and unbelievably exciting.’
The above are the immortal words of world renowned literary savant Chinua Achebe, and it perfectly captures the lived experiences of many Nigerians in the wake of the protests, which can only be described as jarring and chaotic. This past week, Wizkid’s ‘Made In Lagos’ album dropped and for a short while, social media (I mean Twitter) was awash with topics other than #EndSARS and bad governance, but also with opinions on the album, the usual debates about who is or isn’t better than Wizkid, and lists of the best music albums released this year. In the same week, politicians not only called the youths purveyors of fake news, but also beseeched us to show more love, while also accusing us of exaggerating the number of deaths at the Lekki Toll Gate (I mean, one or two lives lost isn’t a cause for concern, you know?), and of being drug addicts who should become tilers, since we have no work to do. Unbelievably exciting, and abysmally frustrating.
Nigeria is a movie. Genre: Horror-Drama-Tragicomedy. The lead actors being Nigerian politicians and their cronies, and I must say they give not just Nollywood, but even Hollywood actors a run for their money. In my opinion, their performances are Oscar worthy. They excel in all categories of film; if you’re looking for the best actors in a comedy or drama, I raise you Inspector Babatunde Fashola Olmes aka Sherlly Fash (who is actually a skilled investigator in real life, finding hidden treasures in places that have been destroyed, refurbished and subsequently frequented by many people before him), Cousin Sanwo-Iro who has mastered the art of telling the people what they want to hear (unless of course, the person is Becky With The Good Hair of CNN), and Dishonorable Desmond El-Lie whose style is similar to that of Sanwo-Iro, but his trump card is the ability to bring on the waterworks for a lirru bit of spicy dramatic sauce. If your style is more action or horror, look no further than the Dictator-In-Chief Buhari, from whom orders to kill and torment trickle down, either directly or indirectly; the Army, Police and DSS are his assassins of choice, after which Chief Sympathizer Yemyem will come like a thief in the night to give his heart out to victims of the assassins’ attacks.
El-Lie Bobo in tears….
The victims are the minor characters in the movie that is Nigeria; they bear the direct and unpleasant consequences of the actions (or inactions) of the lead and supporting characters, even though they are more in number than the lead or supporting characters who have all the powers in the movie. It’s their world, and the rest of us are just gnats disturbing their peace. That is why the gathering of gnats to challenge the status quo of Nigeria, is a pain for these lead and supporting actors. Bubu and friends would rather send in hoodlums, police and army to infiltrate protests and kill protesters, than actually take visible steps towards police reform, they’d rather attempt to censor not only traditional media, but also social media coverage of their horrific actions, than prosecute killer officers, and the latest move of the government is to seize passports and ban travel for key supporters of the #EndSARS movement (you see why we did not want ‘leaders’?). Sure, various state governments including Lagos state, have set up panels of inquiries to look into the sinister activities of SARS officers (like, they aren’t clear enough *rolls eyes*), however, in my opinion, the panels are all shams to give us hope, while buying the time for the ruling class to achieve all its plans to shut us up. Besides, what is the guarantee that this panel will bring about justice? It’s not like all other human rights panels of inquiries e.g. the Oputa Panel of 1999, brought about any justice or any decisive steps taken by the government.
The plot twist in this movie? A Jihadist Terrorist Organization based in Northeastern Nigeria that has been the bane of Nigerians in the North, killed 11 people in Chibok (same town were the group kidnapped 276 girls in 2014), and abducted 9 women, on the same day Northern Governors called for the censorship of social media. The governors really said ‘Priorities? We don’t do that’, *flips hair*.
There’s a lot to be mad about as a citizen of Nigeria living in Nigeria. And honestly, the abysmal frustrations drown out the unbelievable excitements. There is always something to remind you of the state of bedlam that Nigeria has been plunged into; you really cannot escape it, no matter your socio-economic status (unless you hang out with the powerful thieves, sorry politicians and even then, you’re not totally foolproof), or whether you are loving Nigeria from ‘the abroad’, as there is still the concern for the unguaranteed safety and well-being of friends and relatives back in Nigeria.
Personally, I am just waiting for the Director of this movie to yell ‘Cut!!!’, as I am tired of playing the part of an oppressed minor character. The movie has become a little too real and I am sick of it. I want to leave the movie-set, and go off to play in a movie about a nation with not only good music and culture, but also accountable political leaders, good infrastructure and great standard of living.
Is that too much for a Nigerian to ask for?
