What Is Wrong With The Left Hand?

I Really Would Like To Know.

Photo by Andrew Moca from Unsplash

This is a rant.

I remember once in my family’s church, as I danced — more like sway left and right, while walking — to the front of the church to drop my offering, it did not occur to me, that I dropped my offering using my left hand. Well, this travesty was brought to my attention by an elderly lady after the church service, who went thus:

‘Melody, next time do not use your left hand to drop your offering, it’s not good.’

And then she continued on her way, leaving me standing speechless, confused and quite piqued.

I mean, it is hardly surprising that I got told off like that, given the disposition of most Nigerians — which is a combination of not minding their business, and an extreme devotion to cultural or religious practices, without verifying the truth about them. A trader in the market had once refused to collect money from me, all because I handed it to her with my left hand — despite the fact that my right hand was not free.

Again, I ask, what is wrong with the left hand?

If I am fearfully and wonderfully made, and every part of my body comes together to be the Temple of the Holy Spirit, what then makes the left hand an agent of misfortune, doom and disrespect?

You must write with the right hand, you must serve with the right hand, you must wave with the right hand, bla bla bla. And I wonder, who made these rules? I am not even going into the studies conducted, that detail the adverse effects of forcing left-handed people to write or do things with their right-hands. My focus is solely on the sociology of it all.

It really frustrates me to see people live their entire lives based on myths, and unproven concepts, which they pass across as truths. Somehow, bad luck will befall you and your household if you collect something given to you with a left hand. I remember watching a video on Twitter, where a University lecturer reacted angrily to a student, and threatened to beat the student, for submitting his examination script with his left hand. I was left wondering what sort of culture would make one so incensed with rage, to the point that the blood vessels were about to pop out of his head.

I really want to know what it is about doing things with your left hand that makes (older) people riled up. You’ve not finished getting riled up about the state of affairs in Nigeria, it’s people using their left hands that are making you mad. I also wonder how the left hand would feel, if it could talk and communicate its feelings to humans. Is there some kind of spirit that controls the left hand of everyone in the world, proclaiming that it is to bring about misfortune? Was the left hand cursed by God when He created humans? (Of course not, all He created was good). Will the item housed by the left hand dry up and wither once it has been disposed off, as opposed to one housed by the right hand? Is the destiny of the left hand just to be one of constant hate coming its way? I mean, what is the reason for the left hand hate!?!?!

WHAT IS THE REASON!?!

Anyway, I have made it my mission to do things with my left hand and give (mostly older) people things with my left hand. Who wan vex, make e vex.

#JusticeForLeftHands

Rant over.