Motorbikes and Monsoons
(Written in real time, Published sequentially later)
The second day in Chitwan is a blur of rain and motion. Rupen took me via motorbike to tour the town. We are hoping to see Elephants in the Chitwan National Park but alas, they had already migrated into the forrest due to rain.
As I ride along feeling the rain soak my face and hair I marvel at the sights. A brightly painted pink and blue house straight out of a fairy tale, a black baby goat standing on a ledge shaking his head with the most adorable floppy ears he had yet to grow into. A woman with a displeased expression, hand feeling a large brown goat. That one leaves me wondering if the disdain was about the goat or something deeper.
One interesting difference from my trip here years ago is my ability to smell. For years I was hindered by terrible allergies, completely eliminating my ability. Today, whether from a move to the dry Colorado climate or simply a change in body chemistry, I am able to utilize this piece of my senses. The way rain smells continues to be unique to me in any location but particularly here, mixed with fire from wood burning stoves, earth smells of agricultural crops and the occasional all too pungent farm animal scent.
Our first meeting of the day was with the Social Transformation Campaign of Nepal. Here we receive a royal welcome of tea and gifts of prayer scarves. We meet with three absolute powerhouse women who lead a 26 member dues paying group. With greater economic means, these women are both well educated and socially conscious. Without me uttering a word of my purpose, they articulate it as theirs. Financial independence is empowerment and the absolute key to changing social norms for women.
This group uses that mantra along with their money and skills to raise women in critical areas and specific populations. Bringing economically disadvantaged girls to the library on Saturdays to not only read but learn language. Creating forums for bringing together Nepals various subcultures to hold discussions on differences, similarities and preservation. Providing nutritional training and meal to ensure mothers have proper nutrition during pregnancy and breastfeeding. And working for more work opportunities for women to earn an individual wage set.
They are also acutely aware of the burden that women face in the home if they choose to do outside work. The male dominated culture is slowly transforming but women working is outpacing men sharing more of the domestic duties and this imbalance is no different than the same imbalance in western societies.
In short, these women get it. Really get it. They realize that the only way to move women to empowerment is through economic equality and stability. But it has to happen small.
I leave this meeting elated and buzzing from by the future partnership possibilities. There are so many ways we could learn from one another and assist in future initiatives.
In the evening, we hold our final meeting in Chitwan. This is another Tharu women’s group but from the first moment you can see the vibe is completely different. We meet with them on their own turf, a porch outside one of the homes. This provides a more relaxed and casual atmosphere and a chance for me to see them interact more with each other.
There is a clear symbolic matriarch of the group and she is revered. She arrives late and they insist we wait for her to begin. They shuffle to make room for her to have the seat closest to me. And they defer to her to speak on their behalf. They sit on chairs and mats on the floor. They are more connected than I have seen, touching each other, hugging, and even teasing. Their clothing a mix of traditional multicolored Nepalese patterns and modern western, albeit loose fitting clothing.
A younger girl with a round face and bright smile regularly inserts her own words always followed by a giggle and covering her mouth. Somehow knowing she is speaking out of turn but simply can’t help herself. I connect instantly with her spirit.
They tell me the details of the upcoming women’s festival. This annual celebration is focused on fertility and women’s health. The women cook a collective a feast on the October new moon and begin a fast at 3pm. The next day the women bring offerings of fruit to a central space where a man guru reads a religious story of a son looking for his father and finding out his father is actually God.
Side note, it is never lost on me how much of the modern religious traditions are predicated on stories so closely mirroring ancient religions. Perhaps literally everything in life is old wine in new bottles.
The interesting thing about these women is their timidity to share anything about themselves. While I got them to open up when talking about the festival, when asked to describe themselves, I was given looks like I just landed from Mars. After thinking about what might resonate, I reframed the question around education, if a school book was being written about your culture, what would you hope it says? Blank stares. Oh well. I give up and just enjoy being in their energy.
As I close my time in Chitwan, the lessons are abundantly clear. These women are beautiful souls with much to offer yet in this culture, I will need much more time with them to fully nurture a relationship where they open up. That said, even amidst the timidity, it is clear, women everywhere, regardless of education or economics want to be more in control of finances. Even if that is simply making a contribution to the family income they share with a spouse. It is so much more than money, it is a feeling of worth greater than what they already get in the home.
7,746 miles from home, in a completely different culture and still so many similarities to be uncovered. Isn’t this a beautiful world we live in?
