Three times where I made the best funnies :

1. Every time someone fails at their resolution this week a cannon should fire like in the Hunger Games

2. While watching 50 Shades of Grey*, he goes “You’ll have to eat from a list of foods I provide” and I thought, “Man it would be super fucked up if he forced her on the Paleo diet”

3. My favorite thing about myself is that I send Kim Kardashian crying pictures to my coworkers when they cancel meetings with me