My autobiography November 21, 2016
My name is Christopher Wray. I was born on April 6th, 1993 in the town of Pasco Washington. I consider myself blest to have been born into a family of six, in which I am fifth. I have one younger sister, older sister and three older brothers. I look up to each one of my awesome family members.
My father and mother have remained happily married for forty years after meeting in Indiana while my dad was in Consciences Objector service. My dad is from Eastern Kansas and my mother from Central California. The Lord brought them together and soon placed them together for life. I have been really encouraged by their commitment to each other through all of life’s wonderful challenges it seems destined to bring us.
My childhood is filled with almost completely pleasant memories. Growing up on a farm was sweet. One of the greatest times was riding in the tractor late at night with my either one of my parents. I loved the sound and the motion of the bailer as we bailed hay and resting my head on my parent’s side, slowly falling to sleep. It is really good to remember my dad softly trying to protect my head from hitting the window of the tractor as the motion of the machine was rocking me. It is an interesting thing how as a child you can kind of fake sleep to see what your parents will do to protect you. I have to say my parents were pretty phenomenal.
As a child, I spent a lot of my free time reading books and exploring the outdoors. I would find nooks to hide in so I could get away from doing chores around the house and finish the book I was at that time reading. The closest friend I had was my dog and we spent a lot of our time outside exploring together.
Those early days of formation had much to make who I am today. There were some days that were tough and they had their effect on me as well. I came face to face with sin in others and myself through this time, eventually coming into the grace of God.
Probably the biggest change to my worldview came when I began middle school. This is when kids at school became very critical of my families belief and culture. It was pretty tough, because I was caught in between people who thought I was a weirdo and my family who loved me. I ended up kind of rebelling toward the kids at school and treating them like they were the weirdo’s, which brought on bigger problems as time went on. I think we have this inner system inside of us that automatically reacts to criticism, and at this time my inner system began to do its work.
Through high school, I began searching for ways to back up my families’ beliefs, which had become mine. I was outwardly pretty passionate about them, but inwardly still struggling with the rejection of other people. At 16, I started a relationship against my dad’s wishes, which later turned into a source of greater depression and wondering.
Through all this time, I wanted a closer relationship with God, but I also wanted recognition and respect in this life as well. Now, looking back, I wonder what my high school years would have been like if I would have heard people’s criticisms and chose to love them anyways in those years through middle school.
At the age of 21, I finally came into contact with Gods grace. Although I believed it all to be true, I still felt like I didn’t measure up and continually lived in guilt for my sin. During a time of hardship, Father showed me how much Jesus did for us on the cross. For the first time, I seen that Jesus took all of the condemnation we deserved and I have received 100% justification and righteousness in the eyes of the Father totally because of His grace. This wasn’t done because of my own works, but entirely because of who God is! I feel that this time in my short life was the greatest moment I’ve experienced so far. For through it, the criticism of others is merely a way I can learn more about what God can redeem or it is a lie. I don’t have to beat myself up, or try to prove myself. Christ is my proof. He is my everything. I have no need of anything other than Him.
Now, I still have questions and feelings of inadequacy, yet each day that I turn my gaze back to Jesus, the Author and Finisher of my faith, I can receive everything I need for that day. I have learned that I don’t have enough strength for everything that will occur in the future, but I have more than enough for today. The Father who lovingly feeds the birds of the sky is faithful to provide all I need today.