
Tips on dealing with Sexual Assault
Clarification: This poem is not about me but written by me in the perspective of a sexual assault victim
I always thought it would be beautiful,
Two people sharing their insecurities to become one,
I always hoped the first touch would be by someone I loved,
I didn’t give him the “yes” to fulfill that wish of mine.
He knew I wasn’t the sex kind of girl,
But he also knew I was the weak kind of girl,
Sometimes I wonder,
I wonder why he texted me everyday,
I wonder why he bothered talking to me,
I wonder if it was all just for my body?
I suppose the day finally came where I saw his true colours,
He didn’t give a second thought,
The monster sitting in him came out that night,
He ripped off my dress leaving me bare,
I felt him,
I woke up and wanted to yell and scream and push him away,
But destiny was playing games with me that night,
I woke up only to pass out again,
I don’t remember what happened next,
But I woke up as bare as I could be and a little sore,
I turn my head to find my dress on the floor with a pile of emotions,
As much as I wanted to yell and scream for help,
I knew I couldn’t, I knew I couldn’t have my family finding out,
Grabbing my clothes and wearing a smile on my face,
I left from there acting like nothing had happened.
I can no longer, hear or say the name you have,
Such a common name,
But I still freeze every time,
I remember exactly what I wore that day,
The black shiny dress, that I’ve never worn since,
It’s my fault, I should have not chose such a dress.
Every day I wake up with a hope,
A hope that today will be better,
It is when I can’t see my surrounding,
I’m laying down with my head about to explode,
My feet rustling against my blanket,
My fingers grabbing on to anything,
My breath tryna catch some air,
My head spinning around,
It is the monster that is making me crazy every night,
Sometimes I wonder,
I wonder why God chose me,
Chose me to be on this earth.
Sexual Assault can be a very sensitive topic and can have a long term affect on the victims mental health. People may just tell one that it was in the past and that they should get over it. How can one just get over it? How can one get over it when every time they close there eyes to try and sleep, they get nightmares. How can someone get over it when everyday they feel guilty for something that was not there fault. How can one forget it when they are suppressing what happened to them. How can one, how can one, how can one just forget it when they have many more mental health issues.
Iam not going to tell you to forget the trauma, but instead I am going to ask for you to get some support. Is there anyone that you can talk to about it? It is okay, if not, I understand. How about a councilor? They are there to listen and help you get through your nightmares, flashbacks and other things. If these issues are unaddressed, then they will increase and increase as you get older, affecting your everyday life.
The more you try to run away from the truth and bury it deep deep within you, the more it will affect you. Sexual assault can wake up the depression and anxiety within you. It is better to get help earlier on than later on, as you do not want the mental illnesses affecting your physical body, leading to heart problems.
Iam sorry that this happened to you and trust me, I know that it was not your fault. The way someone dresses or talks or looks, is not a reason for someone to sexually assault you. If you haven’t yet told anyone then please consider talking to someone about this. I know that will require a lot of courage, but I also know that you have that within you.
“Don’t let someone else’s action determine the rest of you life. Show them that they can not control you.”
