Stop Trying to Flip Female Trump Supporters
Jessica Valenti

Unfortunately the elites are currently playing divide and conquer, they are telling each side that the other are inhuman monsters who cannot be reasoned with so I don’t think it’s a good idea for more of us to do the same.

Sometimes instead of joining in the war it works better to try to talk to another person on the other side of the war who is attacking and opposing your own best interests and find out what is driving them and what people are using to motivate them to turn against you. Then you can take away their ammunition. We don’t all have the luxury of not talking to people propagandized to hate us. You do not have to agree with someone in order to empathize with and try to understand their concerns. War is not good for anyone on either side. It’s a good idea for all of us to talk and reason together.

I’m not even saying that you have to like the other person, trust them or forgive them for attacking you or throwing you under the bus. You don’t have to do that in order to try to understand their perspective, their concerns and empathize with them on some level. Empathy is not a liability and a bad trait. (Also sometimes some people are so deep in their fundamentalist religion or perhaps child abuse trauma that it’s just more effective to do the work yourself and to work on things for them until they get better. They are not in a state where they can be on their own side or your own side. It’s not fair but the most effective course of action seems to be to just carry them. To get angry at them for not walking would probably just humiliate them and make things worse.)

Also viewing the other side as inhuman monsters or different from you and shaming them does not help them learn (no one learns from being humiliated because humiliation is so painful, it makes the person feel like you are attacking them, why then would they be open to listening to you and learning from you ?). Why would anyone want to talk to you or hear your perspective or think you have a moral perspective when you are shaming them and they feel you are attacking them ? They will see anything you have to say or whatever your viewpoint is an attack. It’s their behaviour that is bad, not them innately and intrinsically, they can and must learn to do better.