Building a future for Appalachia that’s worthy of its past.
Hillary Clinton

Dear President Hillary Clinton:

I support your campaign for both pragmatic and personal reasons. Pragmatically, Trump scares the daylights out of me. Why do people accept his proven racism, his swindling of Trump University students, his scandalously multiple marriages, and the beating up of anti-Trump protestors at his rallies? Be that as it may, I do not expect Trump to make it all the way to Election Day. I predict that the Bush family Mafia will cause Trump’s airplane to crash and then Jeb Bush will volunteer to step in and save the nation by taking over Trump’s spot on the ticket at the last minute. It may sound paranoid of me, but these Bush Mafiosi are the people who invaded Iraq in 2003 and killed over one hundred thousand Iraqis for not good reason. In fact, your vote in favor of the invasion of Poland, I mean, Iraq, is my only big complaint about your candidacy. Personally, since I am the same age as your future “First Gentleman” (Bill Clinton), I have always had a weakness for the lasses born in your birth year. I think that you have remained pretty over the years, just like my Second Love who was born on this day of September 22nd back in the same birth year as you. What year was that? 1958? 1968? It does not matter. Also on the “personal” side of why millions of us support your hard-working, onerous candidacy, the idea of my coeval Bill Clinton living upstairs in the White House and being some kind of Hunter S. Thompson thrills me and fills me with eager anticipation for your triumphal election. I remember how prosperous America was during the two terms of William Jefferson Clinton and I look forward to four or eight good years for America when you are President.

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