Who are You?

Who are you? I’m looking in my mirror and I don’t recognize that girl? Where is that girl that wanted to live in New York City? She wanted to me an interpreter at the UN. Where did she go? When did she stop dreaming? No, it’s not that. I never stopped dreaming, I just lost my nerve. I lost something and to this day, I can’t remember what it is that I lost, and I really don’t remember when I lost it.

I gave up, I became that girl who never accomplishes anything she starts. I mean I have never finished anything. Why? I honestly cannot answer that question. I have become that person who had so much potential that never came to anything. It’s sad to know that about yourself, but I do. I know that about myself and I wonder now, how can I change that? Is it too late? Have I missed my window? I really hope not, I really do, because I feel like I have let everyone who cared about the younger me down. I don’t want to do that anymore. I want to see if I can live up to that potential, I want to see if I can still make my dreams come true. I want to do something meaningful for all of those people who believed in me. I especially want to make up to those people who have lost faith in me. It’s sad to live with so much regret, but I do.

To those I have let down, I am so sorry. To those who believe that maybe it is not too late for me, pray for me this coming year that I finally finish what I start. I don’t want to let you guys down anymore. I have so many bad habits that I need to break, and what I really need is not only self-discipline, but also focus and determination.

Thank you all so much for coming with me in this journey, when I read your posts, I think to myself how brave you are to put yourself out there. I hope someday to have something meaningful to say to you, but alas now I just have my fervent hope that none of you allow yourselves to turn your back on the things that you want, the secret desires of your heart that you don’t let anyone see or know. If I can just let you know, that it truly is something you will unfortunately regret. Don’t do what I did. Do what I didn’t do and follow your heart and your dream now.

Show your support

Clapping shows how much you appreciated Mercedes Joyce’s story.