This is What 18 Feels Like

And I have changed.

I suddenly realized it when I was reading the back cover of the book, Seven Wonders The Colossus Rises by Peter Lerangis. I first noticed it with the comment of Rick Riordan right on the topmost part of its front covers.

As I was reading the overview and the comments, there were goosebumps all over my body. These are the kind of books I have read and loved. It promises to give that ‘Percy Jackson’ feel within its pages.

But after those moments, I just felt nostalgia. It feels good when I am nostalgic, the memories rushing back to you and scent of the air before suddenly fills your lungs. But somehow I also felt sad.

Then I asked myself, why did I just felt nostalgic, only nostalgic? Not thrilled? Not excited? Not with my excited stupid smile?

I think I just grown out of it. Those stories from my childhood (I feel ancient all of a sudden mentioning the word childhood!)

And yes, I have grown up. I guess this is what eighteen feels like, leaving your childish ways because it will not be deemed acceptable anymore, leaving the things to accommodate larger clothes, leaving your childish ways because you should know better.

The feeling is all mixed up. I could not say that I am entirely happy or sad. Maybe I am happy because I realized something in myself worth noting and maybe it will be for the better. Maybe I am sad because I am leaving something I could not go back to. Sure I can reminisce but childhood is not a place I could not go back and forth to. But if it really was a place, I could be there from time to time to escape this world.

Ah childhood… Sometimes it’s good to stay just there. To be innocent, to laugh, to play, to jump around without any care for this world. The cheerfulness and the lightness of their bearing.

So you, little child, don’t rush into growing up. Take your time to play around, cherish each little thing because when you grow older you know you have to be responsible. I am not saying that you don’t have to be responsible while you are young, but as you grow older, you may realize, that it will be useless growing up, seeing the hatred from this world and you have no power to stop it.

Take your time to cherish your childhood. Play when it rains, read books for your age, smile, laugh, be taken care of your parents. Because you may never know how a Rick Riordan book comment would shatter your childhood innocence.