Happy Lonely
Is this what it means to feel content?
Just a twinge of loneliness this morning.
But it feels different.
There is no sadness attached.
Becoming a writer revealed that loneliness has been a constant companion my whole life.
Moving from place to place as a military brat was devastating to my young heart; however, feelings were never up for discussion in our house. I packed them away, stood up straight and soldiered on. Forever the “new girl”, I also learned the power of reinvention, which was not an entirely bad life lesson.
I carried this loneliness with me to college thousands of miles from home where I found deep friendships while unconsciously seeking the elusive M.R.S. degree to feel whole.
A product of 80’s culture, I couldn’t help it even though I remember being mad at myself for playing this game. Soulmate? Really?
I wish I had spent more time figuring out who I was and less time feeling shitty because I didn’t have a date on Friday night. For one semester I felt fully alive inside my young body, foreign quarter in South America. The only thing on my mind was the pursuit of adventure.
My senses strained to take in every moment, to learn the nuance of cultures that felt familiar yet vastly different. There was no…
