Your Instagram Sucks
John Gorman

A belching problem

Photo credit: @janniD on Instagram

John, I loved the vulnerability you brought to this article.

She could have a snaggle-tooth. A loud, screeching, squawk for a laugh. Two thighs that rub together in the winter.

He could have a belching problem — the result of which happened to be perfect six-pack abs. Or an aversion to garlic. Or, he could live in a constant state of melancholia due to his need to consume only sardines.

But here’s the thing about influencers: we’ll never know that.

We don’t see what makes them human. We see what makes them marketable. It’s hard not to compare yourself to someone when all you see is the surface. We hold onto our own grievances, about our beer bellies, our squinty eyes — and look upon the Grecian gods that inhibit our virtual space.

I know I’ll never be Kim Kardashian. But why the hell am I not Janni Deler, the Swedish multimillionaire? Well, logic says, if I can’t be her, at least I can follow her.

Fuck ’em, do you.