Love Your Perfect Imperfections.

MKB T
9 min readMay 17, 2020

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We enter the world filled with possibility. We are born pure, innocent and free. We learn to move our bodies and speak our minds — caring not how we look or how we sound.

And then comes the day when we become conscious of how others see us. We learn very early on that there are some people who are seen as better than everyone else — They are labelled more attractive, more accomplished, happier, richer, worthy of adulation. Somehow, we are taught that we should aspire to be like them, that we should do everything in our power to be like them. Because then we will be happier, richer, worthy…….

Yet, each one of us is so unique that the odds of you or I being born is a staggering 1 in 102,685,000. Business Insider And only 5% of women have the body type portrayed in most of today’s advertising media. Body Project Support One of the greatest tragedy’s of our time is that 95% of women and the majority of men / other gender identities have been encouraged to feel imperfect and unworthy.

Glennon Doyle in her book, ‘Untamed’, maintains that “the beauty industry convinces us that our thighs, frizz, skin, fingernails, lips, eyelashes, leg hair, and wrinkles are repulsive and must be covered and manipulated, so we learn to not trust the bodies we live in. Diet culture promises us that controlling our appetite is the key to our worthiness, so we learn to not trust our own hunger.” Untamed, Glennon Doyle Melton

Jen Hatmaker, in her book ‘Fierce, Free and Full of Fire’ agrees: “Women have waged a long, brutal war against their bodies. We’ve squared off in our corners, determined to make our bodies smaller and our ages indiscernible. It is a scorched-earth, take-no-prisoners brawl, and …… it is breaking our hearts…… when it comes to our bodies, the cultural message is positively clear: be less. Literally take up less space with your flesh and bones and occupy fewer years on the calendar…… Automatic favor is assigned to women who fit the criteria”. Fierce, Free, Full of Fire — Jen Hatmaker

Jen Hatmaker reminds us that “body ideals …are a trend. They aren’t real. They are invented, then exploited by billion-dollar industries that profit from our self-loathing to abuse our bodies into shapes and sizes they were never designed to be……. We live in the perfect storm for body negativity to sail right off the edge of the map.” Fierce, Free, Full of Fire — Jen Hatmaker

Body ideals have ranged from the lean, muscular men of Ancient Greece to the curvaceous female forms of the Renaissance; the tall athleticism of the 1980’s Supermodel era to the waif-like “Heroin Chic” of the 1990’s.

All genders are targeted by this war against our natural forms — Society and the media continue to broadcast caricatures of the perfect man and the perfect woman with no regard for the many and varied forms of our humanity.

What is Body Image?

Dr Jake Linardon, a Research Fellow and Psychology Lecturer at Deakin University in Melbourne, Australia, defines body image as “a multifaceted concept comprised of perceptual (i.e., how we think we look), attitudinal (i.e., how we evaluate our body), and behavioural (i.e., our actions toward our body) components. Break Binge Eating, Dr. Jake Linardon

He goes on to say that “Disturbances in body image are not only central characteristics of all eating disorders, but they are also one of the most potent risk factors for eating disorders, and are, in and of themselves, associated with a range of negative outcomes, including:

· Depressive and anxiety symptomology

· Increased risk of suicidal thoughts

· Unhealthy weight control behaviours (e.g., fasting, diet pills, etc.)

· Low self-esteem

· Interpersonal problems

· Alcohol and drug use and abuse, and

· Reduced physical activity.”

What Is An Eating Disorder?

Phillipa Hay and her Psychiatrist colleagues state that “Eating disorders are characterised by disturbances of eating behaviours and a core psychopathology centred on food, eating and body image concerns.” RANZCP Eating Disorders

There are a number of eating disorders as follows:

* Anorexia nervosa:

- restrictive type (with or without compulsive exercise); and

- binge eating/purging type, with binge eating (uncontrolled overeating) and purging (vomiting,

laxative or diuretic misuse).

* Bulimia nervosa and binge eating disorder are both defined by having regular and sustained binge

eating episodes + regular extreme weight control behaviours (such as purging).

* Atypical anorexia nervosa (where BMI may be within the normal range) and

* Sub-threshold forms of bulimia nervosa and binge eating disorder on the basis of insufficient frequency and/or duration of disordered eating behaviours

* Avoidant/restrictive food intake disorder (ARFID) which, like binge eating disorder, and in contrast

to anorexia nervosa and bulimia nervosa, is not characterised by body image disturbance.

RANZCP Eating Disorders

The risk of having one of these eating disorders over the course of a lifetime is:

*anorexia nervosa — 1% for women and < 0.5% for men,

*bulimia nervosa — around 2% for women and 0.5% for men, and

*binge eating disorder — around 3.5% for women and 2.0% for men.

RANZCP Eating Disorders

What Causes Eating Disorders?

Eating disorders are caused by a complex interplay of multiple risk factors. Phillipa Hay and her colleagues state that “socio-cultural, biological and psychological factors all contribute to the development of eating disorders. The strongest sociodemographic risk factor for having an eating disorder continues to be being of female gender and being from the developed world where the ‘thin ideal’ prevails. Migrants from the developing world seem to be at particular risk. Also at risk are those living in urban areas and undertaking life pursuits where body image concerns predominate, for example, competitive gymnastics and fashion modelling.” Interestingly, they also found that “in all eating disorders there is an increased genetic heritability and frequency of a family history.”

RANZCP Eating Disorders

Other risk factors for developing an eating disorder include:

* periods of severe involuntary food deprivation, food repletion (often after deprivation) or extreme environmental stress;

* earlier onset of a woman’s first menstrual period;

* psychological factors such as:

- a culture of weight concern and focus in one’s formative developmental years,

- specific personality traits, mostly notably low self-esteem (all eating disorders),

high levels of perfectionism for those with anorexia nervosa, and impulsivity for

those with bulimia nervosa / binge eating disorders,

- emotional and sexual child abuse.

RANZCP Eating Disorders

How Are Eating Disorders Treated?

The best treatment for an eating disorder is prevention — recovery rates are low and relapse rates are high. RANZCP Eating Disorders

Current treatments for eating disorders are based on “person-centred informed decision-making” and expert, multi-disciplinary, “recovery-oriented care” strategies. These aim to empower the individual to work closely with their health care team in choosing treatments that best suit them and their unique circumstances. The multidisciplinary approach to care ensures access to a combination of co-ordinated and collaborative medical, dietetic and psychological therapists to maximise the chances of a full and lasting recovery. RANZCP Eating Disorders

Addressing The Cultural Aspects of Body Image

To date, many of the initiatives targeting the cultural and media behaviours contributing to adverse body image, have all focussed on asking the individual to ignore or reframe their own experiences e.g.

* From the US Department of Health and Human Services,

“Working on accepting how you look is healthier than constantly working to change how you look.”

www.womenshealth.gov body image

* From the Australian Government Department of Health, Health Direct advisory service,

1. Question media images — …… try not to compare yourself with them and remember that often what you see on TV and online are not true depictions of real people.

2. Avoid any media, social media or websites that make you feel bad or suggest you need to change the way you look.

3. Focus on the positive things your body can do.

4. Look for similarities between your body and the bodies of other members of your family.

5. Wear clothes that make you feel comfortable.

6. Try positive self-talk.

7. Avoid being critical of other people’s bodies; negative attitudes are contagious.

https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/body-image

Government-led community engagement strategies for the promotion of healthy body image are still in their infancy. In 2009, a National Advisory Group was established by the Minister for Youth, the Hon Kate Ellis MP, to provide advice to the Australian Government on an approach to address the growing problem of body image dissatisfaction in the general community, particularly among young people. apo.org.au

The Advisory Group was Chaired by Publisher, Mia Freedman, and their recommendations included:

-promoting positive body image messages

-introducing [a] proposed voluntary Industry Code of Conduct on Body Image (for media, the fashion and advertising industries)

-introducing standardised [clothing] sizing

-public advocacy, education programs & digital engagement strategies. apo.org.au

In 2014, Mia Freedman admitted to Damien Carrick from the ABC’s Law Report that the voluntary code was a failure; and in particular, that photoshopping remained widespread. www.abc.net.au Law Report

At the time, Israel was leading the charge in legislative change for the promotion of healthy body image. Adi Barkan, (a fashion photographer and model agent from Tel Aviv), began lobbying the Israeli government for legislative action in 2007 after the death of his model friend, weighing 60 pounds and suffering from anorexia. Six years later, in 2013, the Israeli Knesset passed the ‘Photoshop Law’, requiring that:

-adult fashion and commercial models have a body-mass index of at least 18.5 and;

-that there be clear notification of the alteration / digital manipulation of any image

https://israeled.org/knesset-passes-photoshop-law/

However, Adi Barkan lamented to the ABC’s Damien Carrick in 2014 that without the threat of punishment, the legislation had largely been ignored. Learning from Israel’s experience, the French Government introduced their own version of the Photoshop Law in 2017, legislating significant financial penalties for breaking this law. www.forbes.com French Photoshop Law

Other countries, including the US, are expected to follow suit although their progress has been slow. https://www.congress.gov/bill

Many high profile business organisations are to be praised for promoting healthier body image e.g. Getty Images, Seventeen Magazine, Aerie, Darling Magazine and Modcloth who have all pledged not to use digitally-altered photos.

Nonetheless, empowering the individual remains at the heart of social change and Jen Hatmaker urges every woman to replace self-loathing with self-love: “What might it look like if a generation of women started celebrating their outsides on their insides? …. Your body nurtures minds and souls with her presence….. Maybe it is time to stop hating her and just love her back.” She is adamant that the diet industry, Hollywood, fashion culture and the beauty enterprise have nothing to gain if women refuse to hate their bodies: “They are not our allies, no matter how much they profess to love women. We represent two key words to them: dollar signs..”

Fierce, Free, Full of Fire — Jen Hatmaker

Glennon Doyle shares Jen Hatmaker’s sentiments: “I had been deceived. The only thing that was ever wrong with me was my belief that there was something wrong with me…….. It is difficult for a woman to be healthy in a culture that is still so very sick. It is the ultimate victory for a woman to find a way to love herself and other women while existing in a world insisting that she has no right to.”

Untamed, Glennon Doyle Melton

In 2018, Hillary McBride, (therapist, researcher, speaker, and writer living and working in Vancouver, BC) penned a moving ode to her body, inspiring us all to celebrate our own bodies:

“I love you for the ways you let me experience life. Through adventure, through taste and smell and sound. I love you for allowing me to love others. To hold close my dear ones..…..I love you for helping me move. Taking me from here to there… Together we have travelled the world….I love you for introducing me to time. No one else will take the journey of life with me, all the way from beginning to end.…. I love you for being a miracle on the inside. …..I love you, just as you are.

https://hillarylmcbride.com/dear-body-im-sorry-i-love-you/

Where To From Here?

It’s time for all of us, no matter our gender identity, race or creed, to embrace our perfect imperfections and those of others. It’s time to love ourselves unconditionally and to promote wellness, not body image. It’s time for us to embrace the depiction of real bodies and turn our backs on damaging ideals. It’s time for us to call upon governments, businesses and all relevant stakeholders to pass enforceable legislation in support of healthy body imagery. The enduring legacy of our cultural ‘body image revolution’, will be our gift to future generations — the gift of a society that welcomes, embraces and celebrates each and every one of us for being our own true self.

For professional help and support in relation to Eating Disorders, Anxiety, Depression and Mental Health, further resources can be found here:

https://www.eatingdisorderhope.com/treatment-for-eating-disorders/international

https://eatingdisordersreview.com/eating-disorders/eating-disorders-associations/

https://bodyimagemovement.com/resources/professional-help-and-support/

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