Infinite Second Chances: With Our Loved Ones and Ourselves

Brian Meshkin
Sep 1, 2018 · 15 min read

With football season coming soon, I’d like to share with you one of my favorite football stories. Back in the 1929 Rose Bowl, undefeated Georgia Tech battled the University of California. Cal’s Captain was All-American Roy Riegels. Cal’s coach considered Roy to be the smartest player he had ever coached. He played Center on offense and Nose Tackle on defense. Midway through the second quarter, Georgia Tech fumbled the ball, and Riegels picked up the fumble. He recounts, “I was running toward the sidelines when I picked up the ball… I started to turn to my left toward Tech’s goal. Somebody shoved me and I bounded right off into a tackler. In pivoting to get away from him, I completely lost my bearings.”[i] Then, the unthinkable happened. Riegels ran 69 yards in the wrong direction as the crowd yelled “Wrong Way”. He didn’t hear them, and he didn’t stop until he was tackled by his own teammates one-yard shy of scoring in the wrong end zone. On the ensuing drive, pinned against the end zone, Georgia Tech scored two points on a safety.

Center Roy Riegels had a big year for the Golden Bears in 1929. But despite being a first team All-American, Riegels’ name became infamous because of a critical gaffe in the Rose Bowl against the Yellow Jackets. (Source: https://pac-12.com/videos/great-rose-bowl-moments-1929-california-vs-georgia-tech)

At halftime, the Cal players went into the locker room, wondering what the coach would say. Roy sat by himself, put a towel over his head and cried. When the team was ready to go back onto the field for the second half, the coach stunned the team by keeping all the starters in, including Roy. The team left the locker room except Roy. He wouldn’t budge. The coach looked back and called him again. Roy responded, “Coach, I can’t do it. I’ve ruined you. I’ve disgraced the University. I can’t face that crowd in the stadium again.”[ii]

Then the coach put his hand on Roy’s shoulder and whispered, “Get up and go back in. The game is only half over.” Riegels did go back and play well in the second half. However, those two-points scored as a result of this mistake ended up being the difference in the game, where Georgia Tech beat Cal by a final score of 8–7.

This play is considered by historians to be the worst blunder in college football history, but this coach had the foresight and perspective to understand that life is about second chances. As strong as the shouted words “Wrong Way” are in this story, the whispered words, “Get up and go back in. The game is only half over” are even stronger. For our discussion today, I would like to reflect on second chances — and specifically, the importance of second chances in our marriages and families.

As strong as the shouted words “Wrong Way” are in this story, the whispered words, “Get up and go back in. The game is only half over” are even stronger.

Often times, we may feel that there is something or someone in our lives going the “Wrong Way”. Suffice it to say, there are plenty of times in our lives when “life happens” and the term “plan of happiness”[iii] seems like a joke. I am reminded of a funny scene in the movie, “God’s Army”, about church missionaries in Los Angeles. In this scene, Elder Allen, a newbie from Kansas, is teaching a man about eternal families in a messy backyard with screaming kids and a shouting wife in the kitchen. The weary man asks, “You mean I could be with my family forever?” The missionary nods excitedly, and the man responds, “Thanks, I don’t think I’m interested.”[iv]

The fact is life is full of contradictions. Joy and pain, light and dark, hope and fear. And even though we seek eternal families which are “the source of our greatest happiness here in this life” and “foundation of our exaltation and glory in the life to come.”[v], we all have dysfunctional families consisting of imperfect people that we generally don’t get to choose. While we seek perfection, we know that this earth life is far from ideal or perfect. The Lord has told us that this Earth would be “cursed… for thy sake.”[vi] It is because of the disappointments we face and the mistakes we will surely make that second chances are so important.

The scriptures offer many stories of God giving second chances. In the Book of Joshua, we read the story of Rahab. She was disobedient to the commandments and lived in the city of Jericho at a time when Israel was about to conquer the land. When spies from Israel showed up at her house, she did the right thing and put her life on the line to hide them. When Jericho was completely destroyed, only Rahab and her family survived. God granted her a second chance. And when we read the genealogy of Jesus in the Book of Matthew, we find Rahab’s name as she was preserved as an ancestor of Jesus.[vii],[viii]

In Exodus, we read the story of Moses. Even though he was born in Egypt as a Jew condemned to death, God spared Moses’ life and gave him a second chance by growing up in the privilege of Pharoah’s palace. Then later in life, God gave Moses another second chance as he returned to Egypt and set His people free.[ix] In 2 Samuel, we read about David, a prophet of God and King of Israel, who sinned and committed adultery and murder. When confronted with his sin, David repented and God gave him a second chance.[x]

In the Gospel of John, we read a story about “a woman taken in adultery” who the Pharisees brought before Jesus, asking Him how he would handle this woman who, under Mosaic Law, should be stoned to death. Jesus responded to them, “He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.” Embarrassed by their own hypocrisy, the angry mob dropped their stones and walked away. “When Jesus had lifted up himself, and saw none but the woman, he said unto her, Woman, where are those thine accusers? hath no man condemned thee? She said, No man, Lord. And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.”[xi] Jesus gave this woman a second chance.

In the parable of the prodigal son, Jesus described an unhappy young man who had made many bad choices, yet he longed for a chance to repent and return to his family. Despite fearing that his father would not forgive him, he did return home. I would draw our attention to a small detail that is often times overlooked. We read in verse 20, “But when he [being the prodigal son] was yet a great way off, his father saw him, and had compassion, and ran, and fell on his neck, and kissed him.”[xii] The father wasn’t sitting back and waiting for his son to apologize. No. He ran. He ran towards his returning son and gave him a second chance. This story is symbolic of Heavenly Father’s love for us. It is important to remember that no matter how far down the “wrong way” on the football field of life we may feel we have run, or our loved ones have gone, if we want to return, God will run to us and give us second chances.

But these second chances are not just for those who have committed overt sins like the prodigal. Second chances are also for those who may be closest to the Savior, such as an Apostle like Peter. During the final hours before Christ’s crucifixion, Peter boldly proclaimed that he would stand by Jesus’ side even if it meant death. But Jesus knew better and before the sun rose again, Peter emphatically denied Christ to save his own life three times — just as Jesus had prophesied. Yet Jesus gave him a second chance.[xiii]

My favorite story in the scriptures about second chances is found at the end of the Gospel of Luke. Picture the scene. Jesus’ enemies, sarcastic and abusive, were gathered around three crosses on Calvary’s hill. At the edge of the mob were Jesus’ friends, brokenhearted, scared and silent. The only people left there to support Jesus were his mother Mary, the apostle John, and Mary Magdalene. After days of suffering and abuse, Jesus was crucified between two murdering robbers. One of these men, filled with pride and anger, called out to Jesus, mocking Him like the others, and said, “If thou be Christ, save thyself and us.”[xiv]

Source: https://www.pinterest.com/pin/526991593872263819/?lp=true

But the other crucified robber had a humble, repentant heart. In a mocking crowd, he was the lone voice of hope and faith we read in this scene. We read, “But the other answering rebuked him, saying, Dost not thou fear God, seeing thou art in the same condemnation? And we indeed justly; for we receive the due reward of our deeds: but this man hath done nothing amiss. And he said unto Jesus, Lord, remember me when thou comest into thy kingdom. And Jesus said unto him, Verily I say unto thee, To day shalt thou be with me in paradise.”[xv] From this expression of faith and repentance, Christ gave the humble robber a second chance. I love this story because it reminds us that with the infinite Atonement of Jesus Christ, there’s never too far away, never too late for us, or never too lost that is beyond the power of second chances through Jesus. Certainly, if God can give all of these second chances, He can certainly give second chances to each of us.

Elder Lynn G. Robbins has taught, “Mistakes are a fact of life. Learning to skillfully play the piano is essentially impossible without making thousands of mistakes — maybe even a million. To learn a foreign language, one must face the embarrassment of making thousands of mistakes — maybe even a million. Even the world’s greatest athletes never stop making mistakes. “Success,” it has been said, “isn’t the absence of failure, but going from failure to failure without any loss of enthusiasm.”[xvi]…Hopefully, each mistake we make becomes a lesson in wisdom, turning stumbling blocks into stepping-stones.”[xvii]

Elder Robbins then goes onto explain, “Repentance isn’t His backup plan in the event we might fail. Repentance is His plan, knowing that we will [fail]. This is the gospel of repentance, and as President Russell M. Nelson has observed, it will be “a lifetime curriculum.”[xviii] So, amid a life full of stumbling blocks and imperfection, we all are grateful for second chances.”[xix]

As a disciple of Jesus Christ, we must generously give second chances. As Elder Marvin J. Ashton once taught, “Over the centuries, in the minds of millions of people, the cross has been recognized as a symbol of Christianity. But rather than displaying the cross, we prefer to try carrying our crosses.”[xx] Through this life, we have many crosses to bear.

If you are a father, you know that “By divine design” you “are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for” your family.[xxi] You work hard, but life happens. A job loss, a bad investment or a business goes south.

If you are a mother, you know that you are “primarily responsible for the nurture of” your children.[xxii] You sacrifice many of your needs, and do your best to raise your kids, but life happens. A child struggles in school, becomes sick or struggles with depression, or strays from the gospel.

As a husband or wife, you love your spouse, want to be together, and are trying to meet all of life’s obligations, but life happens. All of these obligations seem to be pulling you in every direction except towards each other. You don’t feel the same way you used to or don’t talk to each other as much anymore.

As a single brother or sister, or a single parent, you are trying your best in a community and culture that reminds you all the time of your reality. Life happens. The marriage you may seek seems ever elusive no matter how much you pray, and the challenges of doing it all by yourself are overwhelming.

As a youth, you are going to school, attending early morning seminary, trying to make friends, and balance all of your other activities, but life happens. You are under a lot of pressure. School is hard. You are tired in the morning at seminary and exhausted doing your homework late at night. You see all these other people on Instagram who look happy and their lives seems perfect, but your life doesn’t seem perfect at all.

In all of these situations, we may hear the loud voice of Satan who points a prideful finger of judgement and blame at us, as he tells us we’re not good enough, or that our challenges are punishments for something we did wrong, or we’ve gone too far the “wrong way”. Or we may feel a crowd of people standing around us with stones in their hands ready to judge us over social media, at school, or at church. As we are trying to hold on, white knuckled on this roller coaster of life — we must remember that our Savior stands by our side, and maybe He is actually holding us — and through the still small voice of the Holy Ghost, He whispers, “Get up and go back in. The game is only half over.” He is always there to give us limitless second chances.

Life’s disappointments and difficulties are not anyone’s fault — not our spouse’s fault, or our child’s fault, or our parent’s fault, or God’s fault. The plan of salvation is designed to require salvation. What is the definition of this word we use so often? Salvation is defined as being rescued from harm, ruin or loss.[xxiii] Thus, we all agreed to come down to earth and participate in the plan of salvation which involves facing harm, ruin, and loss, and to be saved from both this physical and spiritual death by the grace of God through the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.[xxiv] Thus, harm, ruin and loss are expected — not unexpected — parts of the plan and our lives.

A covenant marriage and family are very much like the image of those three crosses on the hill of Calvary. Through the temple sealing ordinance and the associated covenants, we enter into a new and everlasting covenant between multiple persons — man, woman, our posterity, and God.[xxv] Just as the Savior hung in the middle of those three crosses, the Savior is in the middle of our sacred sealing covenants in our marriage and our generations of families.

Source: https://www.mormonnewsroom.org/article/san-diego-california-temple

“Our families are where we experience our biggest triumphs and our deepest vulnerabilities — and they are where we have the greatest potential to do good. We believe the family is divine in nature and that God designates it as the fundamental building block of society, both on earth and through eternity. As such, it becomes the foundation for civilization and a sanctuary for the individual. It is where we learn the social graces of loyalty, cooperation, and trust. It is where we learn to love ourselves and each other, to bear one another’s burdens, to find meaning in our life and to give purpose to others’ lives, and to feel the value of being part of something greater than ourselves.”[xxvi] For those of us, who may have felt pain during some holidays like Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, or other times when our world celebrates marriage and families, who for whatever reason, do not have marriage or children right now, who may lack loving parents or a supportive extended family in their present reality, Elder Christofferson has explained, “To declare the fundamental truths relative to marriage and family is not to overlook or diminish the sacrifices and successes of those for whom the ideal is not a present reality… With confidence we testify that the Atonement of Jesus Christ has anticipated and, in the end, will compensate all deprivation and loss for those who turn to Him. No one is predestined to receive less than all that the Father has for His children.”[xxvii]

Now, are there times when we just can’t give second chances? Sure. There are certainly times involving an unwilling family member, or abuse, or serious sins that must be approached with the involvement of priesthood leaders. We may find, in those situations, that while we can try to forgive, we cannot give a second chance in order to protect ourselves or our loved ones from harm or abuse or another person who is unwilling to accept a second chance. “All these things are done in wisdom and order.”[xxviii] However, in most of life’s circumstances, second chances are available to us and should be made available to others. Now, I’m not saying that this is easy. I’m just saying that I know in my heart that it’s the right thing to do. In our last General Conference, Elder Larry J. Echo Hawk taught, “… are there people in our lives who have hurt us? Do we harbor what seem like fully justified feelings of resentment and anger? Are we letting pride keep us from forgiving and letting go? I invite all of us to forgive completely and let healing occur from within. And even if forgiveness doesn’t come today, know that as we desire it and work for it, it will come …Please also remember that an essential element of forgiveness includes forgiving ourselves.”[xxix]

It is this last point that I wish to address briefly. To truly accept second chances from God and be willing and able to generously give second chances in our marriages and families, we truly need to give seconds chances to ourselves. If we cannot do so, we are denying the infinite power of the Atonement and holding onto pride rather than love. Elder Robbins recounted one occasion when Peter asked the Savior, “Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?” Presumably, Peter thought seven was a sufficiently high number to emphasize the folly of forgiving too many times and that benevolence should have its limits. In response, the Savior essentially told Peter to not even count — to not establish limits on forgiveness. “Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.”[xxx] Thus, second chances are not one, singular second chance, but infinite, repeated second chances.

Thus, second chances are not one, singular second chance, but infinite, repeated second chances.

As we progress down the covenant path taught by President Nelson, and follow the guidance of our Stake Presidency in this year’s stake theme to “Come unto Christ”, limitless second chances are an essential part of our journey, and must be a part of our marriages and families. We will certainly face challenges, as the Lord knows that “these things shall give [us] experience, and shall be for [our] good.”[xxxi] We know that He gives us challenges that allow us to “taste the bitter, that [we] may know to prize the good.”[xxxii] We testify that those challenges prove that “the battle is the Lord’s,”[xxxiii] and it is only by His grace that we can accomplish His work and become like Him.[xxxiv] And we have faith that these challenges will help us develop and refine Christlike attributes that cannot be refined except through opposition[xxxv] and “in the furnace of affliction.”[xxxvi],[xxxvii],[xxxviii]

It’s been said that a smooth sea never made a skillful sailor. And for those who have hiked mountains, you know that the most beautiful and spectacular views follow the steepest climbs. Life is very much the same as it provides us with rough terrain and cliffs to climb so that we may eventually enjoy the beautiful vistas and views where we can see far into eternity. It is our goal to work together in marriage and family to reach those eternal vistas, which can be seen from “the mountain of the house of the Lord” in His Holy Temple which “shall be established in the top of the mountains, and it shall be exalted above the hills; and people shall flow unto it.”[xxxix]

It is my testimony that God lives and loves us. Heavenly Father is a loving God of limitless second chances and that to become like Him, we must receive those second chances from Him in love, give those loving limitless second chances to others — especially in our marriages and families — and give ourselves second chances. I know that we will have times like Roy Riegels, where we will feel that we have gone 69 yards down the field in the completely wrong direction and the crowds will be shouting at us saying “wrong way” and we will just want to give up and stay in the locker room. But I know that our Savior is there, He is holding us when we cannot hold on any longer ourselves, and as we repent, His pure love always gives us limitless second chances.

[i] Goldstein, Richard (2003–12–25). “Revisiting Wrong Way Riegels”. The New York Times. Retrieved 2013–06–05.

[ii] Lowitt, Bruce (1999–09–26). “‘Wrong Way’ Riegels takes off into history”. St. Petersburg Times. Retrieved 2013–08–03.

[iii] Boyd K. Packer. “The Plan of Happiness.” Ensign, May 2015.

[iv] http://www.metroactive.com/papers/sonoma/06.22.00/godsarmy-0025.html

[v] Stephen L Richards, Where Is Wisdom? Deseret Book Co., 1955, p. 193.)

[vi] Genesis 3:17

[vii] Joshua 2:1–22, 6:20–25

[viii] Matthew 1:5

[ix] Exodus 1–3

[x] 2 Samuel 11–12, Psalm 51

[xi] John 8:3–11

[xii] Luke 15:20

[xiii] Matthew 26:31–35, 69–75; John 21

[xiv] Luke 23:39

[xv] Luke 23:40–43

[xvi] This quote has been attributed to various authors, including Abraham Lincoln and Winston Churchill.

[xvii] Elder Lynn G. Robbins, “Until Seventy Times Seven.” Ensign, May 2018

[xviii] Russell M. Nelson, in Dallin H. Oaks and Neil L. Andersen, “Repentance” (address given at the seminar for new mission presidents, June 26, 2015), 11.

[xix] Robbins

[xx] Marvin J. Ashton, “Carrying Your Crosses”, Ensign February 1998.

[xxi] Gordon B. Hinckley, “The Family:A Proclamation to the World.” Ensign, November 1995.

[xxii] Hinckley

[xxiii] https://www.google.com/search?q=defintion+of+salvation&oq=defintion+of+salvation&aqs=chrome..69i57j0l5.3233j1j4&sourceid=chrome&ie=UTF-8

[xxiv] Guide to the Scriptures, Salvation

[xxv] Marcus B. Nash, The New and Everlasting Covenant. Ensign, December 2015.

[xxvi] https://www.mormon.org/beliefs/the-family

[xxvii] Christofferson

[xxviii] Mosiah 4:27

[xxix] Larry J. Echo Hawk, “Even as Christ Forgives You, So Also Do Ye,” Ensign, May 2018

[xxx] Matthew 18:22

[xxxi] Doctrine & Covenants 122:7

[xxxii] Moses 6:55

[xxxiii] 1 Samuel 17:47

[xxxiv] Jacob 4:7

[xxxv] 2 Nephi 2:11

[xxxvi] Isaiah 48:10

[xxxvii] 1 Nephi 20:10

[xxxviii] Robbins

[xxxix] Michah 4:1–2

Brian Meshkin

Written by

Award-Winning Health Tech Executive & Social Entrepreneur; Fmr HCPSS (MD) Board of Education Member; Husband; Father; Latter-day Saint; www.brianmeshkin.com

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